I feel useless, I can’t make a difference in my life… everything about my life is painful there is nothing positive to me anymore. As much as I preach to myself all the good things I can do and become…I can’t wait that long. I’m tired of waiting for something good or to be fixed. The only thing stopping me is how ? how do I end it all and rest permanently without a thousands things in my head, walking around with a fake smile but in my head it’s all sadness and loneliness…. I can’t take anything anymore and I’m tired of hearing it’ll […]
i was away for a very long time. so messed up right now. cant deal with this life anymore. i want to end everything tonight but i don’t have the strength to take my life aswell. i just wish i don’t wake up tomorrow.
I’m really confused this month, I feel like shit. I haven’t felt this sort of way in a while, usually I’d just shrug it off as me being a little ***** (and maybe it is), but it feels different this time.
About a year and a half ago I fell in love with this girl who I sort of dated for about a week, and by that I mean we live a city apart so we didn’t hang out physically very often, it was mostly over Skype and Facebook. But I really really liked her, she meant the world to me. Up until then I hadn’t […]
i lost my best friend. Im losing more and more, i dont what happened, i dOnt how it happened but i just got in to a fight with another close friend. Its things like what she said to me tha makes me turn around and cut or burn. She knows how i think and how i view myself. I hate how i live and i want out. Im sick of the harrassment at school that gos on behind my back, im sick of crying every night know that my day isnt gonna be good. I make myself sick apmost every night! Im sick of evedything […]
I miss you so much, you have no idea how much I need you, I think about you all the time… I want you to be here with me, I want to hear you laughing again.
Te amo
My sad and sweet soulmate <3
We all make choices
Some are easier than others
Like what to wear and what to eat
Others are harder
Like how to schedule our day and who to meet
But it seems like my choices are harder still
Something abnormal from all the rest
While my friends are deciding which movie is the best
I’m deciding if myself I’m going to kill
I feel so jealous of all those other kids
They seem to have all their shit together
While I sit here in the corner
Trying to keep my wrists together
While the rest smile I wear a frown
While some look up to the […]
This is my first non poem post in a long time. If you haven’t seen them, please look them up and tell me what you think. Anyway, on to the post.
I did it. I managed to get myself discharged from all psychiatric treatment. No more therapists, no more psychologists, no more meds or anything. It’s bittersweet. I knew they weren’t helping, but I don’t know what else to do. Everything they did wasnt working, so im back to my own methods of coping. So what if they’re unhealthy? They work. One joint makes me feel better for longer than a weeks worth of SSRIs. […]
Of myself mostly, all I can ever do is fuck up. I say ‘some day I’ll fix it, i’ll improve my life’ and it never happens. It probably won’t happen. I’m going to be broke, sad, and lonely. All because of me. I wish I was never born.
My best friend is moving to a different state in 13 days. It makes me so happy to see her in school, and next year she won’t be here to make me happy. I have other friends, but she is the most special of them all. She has the same personality as me, and we get everything the other says/does. Everyone else thinks we’re crazy and weird, but we understand each other. Next year, I will have no one to hug when I’m having a bad day, I won’t be able to walk down the hallway holding her hand (we are really affectionate xD) And […]
nobody does about me, they dont show it. no one would even notice my non existance.
starting to think about it that thought makes me sick. too bad its true:/
I hate it when you like someone so much, but their in love with someone that repeatedly hurts them but their to loyal just like you. you just want to be like dump her ass and date me goddammit. why can’t people sees what they have when its right in front of them. I hate feeling they make me feel weak.
I’ve hit rock bottom. Depression has been biting me my whole life, and I let it influence me so much, my grades dropped so much I’m getting kicked out of school. Don’t know if I would cry or laugh about it, cause I’m so pathetic.
Anyways, anyone feel they relate? If only this decision to end this bullshit won’t affect my mom, dad, and sister, I would be easily and freely slipping into non existence right now.
I just don’t know what to say anymore, or what to think. I can’t get off from my head all the thoughts, the flashes keep coming as if there’s nothing more. Why, i tell myself, but no answer is found. And now I’m not sure if I want one. but it’s the guilt inside my head, and my hole body.
Is just another day, another hour, minute, and breath, but I can’t breathe anymore; the air is not getting inside of me. As I close my eyes every memorie is haunting me, I want to forget. I want to be able to look at me […]
When someone thinks about a suicidal person they think of a person who walks around sad and depressed all the time… This wasn’t me. I was the loud, confident one. The essentail “life of the party” type kid. I was a people magnet people liked to be around me… But if they knew the daily war i had with myself i wonder if things would be different… I’ve had suicide in the back of my head for a while but if you saw me in public you’d swear it was the furthest thing in my head. I found it easier to play the role of […]
why? i just want to give up. be dead. im sick of pain i have felt it enough. im miserable, i cant sleep, im too stressed to do anything. i wanna end this forever take me on a free vacation to peace. i am on my last nerve to just do it tonight get rid of the pain and set me free. yeah i should do it tonight i stalled last night and ended up being miserable til 3am i dont want to do that again:/ i wanna do it NOW.
Im sorry when I read these posts that there seems so many people that feel like I do as I know how I feel and wouldnt wish that anyone. Im going ti give in and give up as Im not strong enough to carry on, but dont want anyone else to hope you all manage to find a reason to pull through a hope, dream just anything. I know your thinking who the hell arfe you to doll out advice your gonna end it but I just want to put this out there sorry
Wrecked my brand new car and the only friend I had at work is leaving. Mom is still in the nursing home and she’s never getting out alive. It’s so hard to find a purpose when you never get good news. My first thought when I wake up in the morning is ‘I can’t believe I have to face another day’.
Mary Richardson was in the news again today – well actually it was her husband. Reading about her really makes me think of suicide as a way out. Problem is I don’t have the guts to kill myself in such a brutal way.
I have to clean the infection out of the wound before I can allow it to heal, Even if it already scabbed over I would have to reopen it to clean it, although it never healed.
I have survived abuse, car accidents, living in gang riddin, drug-dealing neighborhood as a child, being married to a cop and having him take my kids and do weird/mind fuck type things to get back at me for leaving him, jail, drug addiction, homelesness, being outcasted from any blood family I new of (I didn’t grow up knowing family really). IDK I’ve been through a hell of alot and all I hear from people that I am strong and what am I gonna do with my life. “I have soo much potential” I’m told.
I’m sick of being here. I am sick of the […]
This was just me fiddling around with the word “and”. Then it turned into a kind of poetic narrative I think. Well, tell me what you think.
And the skies of her mind darkened
And her world became night
But she had always loved the night
Until it came for her mind
And the ink of soul bled across the divide
Between herself and her fears
Accepting the demons into her heart
And those demons ate her heart
And replaced it with a rotting hunk of flesh
That had once been Hope
But now dwells only for pain
And slowly she dissolved
Imploded and burned
And […]