My best friend is in Ohio, and I’m stuck here in New Jersey. He’ll only be there for a week, and he’s coming home on Friday, but then I’m going to Pennsylvania for a few days with my Dad to see two bands (Skillet + Hawk Nelson). He doesn’t have internet, and I certainly won’t. He’s my lifeline, the only concrete reason I live for. Sure, I could say that I live for the breathtaking surrealness when you go to a concert, and see the band(s) that you’ve listened to at your darkest moment. Or that I live for fireworks on the 4th of July. […]
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4th Of July
so 4th of july is here and i happy im not in a mental hospital especially when my therapist knows about my internal debate and following my plan to end it or not ending it. but she can still change her mind tomorrow morning seeing as shes forcing me to see her tomorrow even though she does not even work officially. I really dont know what im going to end up doing but what ever decision i make i hope its worth it. So its down to what i decide although the idea of breaking my boyfriends heart, breaking my promise to my friend, giving […]
4th of July is in two days, that’s the day i had planned to end it all. I have this amazing guy who walked into my life and makes thinks better but life is still hard. I stooped taking my meds bcz i wanted to think clearly on whether i would go trough with my plans or not. I still have no idea of what im going to end up doing. My boyfriend does not make it easier on me. He knows all about it and he does not want to lose me, he said he can see himself marrying me in the future. I […]