For all my life I have just passed from one painful absurdity to the next. And all along I thought, woe is me, I haven’t any luck in life; a life of a boy who was intellectual, creative, loving, and self-aware. As I came to adulthood, I came to the melancholic realization that I am none of these things, nor have I ever been. Even with every shred of sorrowful heartbreak and death of a loved one or a cherished emotion, from every punch in the groin to every stab in the neck, the truly, most dangerously negative force was my own sense of self. […]
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Absurdity
Hi everyone,i’d like to share my story with you people who are by good chance going to understand it. I’m italian, i’m 20, i’m studying medicine and i’ve got pretty much everything that can be asked to life, i’ve got friends, i’ve got a path to follow, i’ve got loving parents,i’m smart and stuff.. Â i’ve got no real problem, i’ve got no big issues, i’ve got nothing, i’m just like the average guy,and i feel sorry for the many of you who actually have something to complain about,something hard, but it’s been already two years since i started asking myself what the meaning was..you know […]
I’m having a tough time reconciling much of anything: the numbness I feel, the suffering inflicted on me and others, the deep, penetrating emptiness I feel… It’s existentialist really; I simply can’t find an explanation for the absurdity of this mockery of a life, this incessant suffering that undercuts whatever joy I have left, or, rather, had.
I was kicked out of the house by my dad a year ago after I got into it with him over his alcoholism and my apparent laziness and moved in with my mom and stepdad; however, I left home to live on my school’s campus (it’s a boarding/day school) […]