Currently we are studying the cold war in my history class, I think about how a war was never really fought. I realize that the fight between my heart and my brain is like the cold war except I am the only casualty my body and soul take a beating every day while my mind battles what my heart desperately wants…the sweet relief of death…the adrenaline caused by the blade and the worry that I will soon be caught…
Tag:
Adrenaline
the adrenaline upon contact
the instant relief as the first drop of blood emerges
the pain
drowned out my the stinging of your skin
the memories
merely but a tiny thing now
the sobs slow down
breathing heavies
let`s go deeper
maybe i can kill myself
each time you go deeper than you imagine yourself to handle
each time you numb the skin a little
each time it becomes easier to go deep
until one day you find your limit
you find the end
your escape.
I never understood how people felt better after self harming themselves. I didn’t understand how pain could make one feel better. Even though I’ve been so depressed I always told myself I would never hurt myself.
Lately I’ve felt on edge, and just an hour ago I couldn’t take it. Whenever I feel like I can’t take anymore, I imagine myself running away or scratching/ripping my face off. I will usually end up scratching my face a bit but today I felt like I was going absolutley crazy just keeping all this in and none of it getting better. I started pulling my hair and violently scratching […]