It never fails to get me. The feeling of guilt. I run, leaving those lonely ones behind. I just don’t wanna be a witness to seeing them so miserable. I know they need me, but I don’t know what I can do. So I run, hoping for a temporary cure to these feelings. But then guilt comes up, and stabs you through your heart, “Why did you run? Why did you leave them alone? How could you!? You’re so selfish.”
Such depth in words
…
Despair is nothing compared to what I live.
Just a click away.careful and close analysis of what has lead me to this dark whole in my life.
You will not regret it.
This,friend.
This is the stuff.
www.sirgrandad.blogspot.com
Finally,
Enjoy!
-Gran(^•^)Dad
It is amazing how life can fall out of grasp within a blink of an eye. It is like yesterday that I was happy and carefree with the world shinning brightly before me. However, it is not yesterday, it is today and today I feel as if there is nothing for me. The world is not mine for the taking and the Sun has disappeared completely. I’m sad, I’m lonely and I fear it will never get better. Maybe life isn’t for everybody because I may be breathing but inside I’m suffocating. Life shouldn’t be this hard. Living has simply turned into surviving and I […]
I’ve been struggling for so long. I don’t understand why I hate myself so much. Why I don’t want to live. I want to be done. I want to be peaceful. I hate hating myself. I feel alone. I feel left out. I hate breathing. I feel isolated and alone. I want to go to sleep and never wake up.
It’s after midnight and depression took over. I’m sitting in my room with some candles burning and doom metal playing in the background, writing this. I feel alone. Isolated. There is no one to talk to right now. It’s just me versus me. God, it is so tempting to die right now.
I am a diagnosed bipolar, twenty year old girl. And maybe it is just the depression talking. But I am so lost and I’m so on my own. I’m scared.
Fear is my biggest problem. Im so scared of everything. Scared to be on my own. Scared to run. Scared to hide. Scared to fly incase I fall. Scared to risk it all. Scared to die.
To die would be an awfully big adventure.
I’ve sat on my bed on days when I’m all alone in the house. I’ve taken pills, washed them down with vodka. But as soon as it started to hurt i made myself […]
Could someone please talk to me? I haven’t been myself in awhile now and I don’t know what to do. I suffer from a form of depression that destroys my relationships with family and friends. I am sad. Always. I bring people down when I try to talk to them about my sadness. They have family and friends and children and they are happy. Then I come along and tell them how sad I am. They try to entertain me but after awhile they don’t want to hear it. My parents call me selfish when I tell them I’m thinking about suicide. They tell me […]
12 hours to go
You win, I was too wrong from the beginning anyway. A gear missing the teeth and don’t fit in the machinery.
“Be yourself, it’s all you need”
Of course there is the big probability chance, that everything else around you, don’t want or agree with your self, so you will have to let them mold, shape, change and fix you, so you can fit in, and get to be yourself, they can accept. But hey doesn’t matter, as long as you just “be yourself”
“You can’t be lonely if you’re not alone”,
and if you’re alone, well then it’s your own fault.
Don’t worry, […]
You ever get tired of listening to advice that leaves you stranded on your own, doing battle against the pain in the darkness? Advice like “you gotta do it for yourself and not anyone else”
“no pain, no gain”
Even phrases like “have faith” can be conflicting, lonely and long if you are truly left on your own. Depending who you are of course.
People have been shoving that shit down my throat my whole life. “Don’t do it for anyone but yourself”
“You gotta live for you”
I don’t need to explain to some of you out there, that sometimes doing it on […]
No matter how bad your life may be right now. It seems to always get better. You just have to keep your head up. I’ve went through it all. Never thought I would be where I am today. Thanks to my mom and the help I got. Know that you’re not alone. We all have problems. You don’t have to face them alone. If you ever need help im always here for anyone that needs it. You’re king, you’re a queen. Stay beautiful. Stay strong. <3
My life is a downtrodden groundhogs day.
I wake up every morning with a varying degree of hope and slowly pull myself out of bed. I turn on my computer, if it isn’t already on to charge my phone overnight, and my monitor then venture into the kitchen for a fresh cup of water. I like water. Fortunate I suppose, I know most people don’t. I could gladly skip juices and soft drinks for a steady supply of water. A fresh sip splashes my mind and cools my senses. Today isn’t so bad, I think to myself. If I’m hungry I’ll peer into the fridge and […]
maybe my last letter written to him…
i registered for some blog open blog of suicide notes etc..
i once wanted to leave my story. but now..
you have taken the last shred of me.. with your coldness, dismissal. and lack of compassion..
i am but a hand full of dust waiting to be blown, and scattered, erased in the winds … of a life vanished meaningless and alone
I feel so alone. My parents are in another country and my friends are far away. My new friends here with me always leave to see their families. I’m really all alone. I have no one to reach out to. No one that could help me and ease my pain and my lonelyness. I want to keep hurting myself as punishment of being weak minded. But my boyfriend will see it. He doesn’t know how messed up I really am mentaly. Telling him might mean losing him. I just want to end it. My self hatred is really too much to bear.
Where do i start eh?
I am 48 yrs old, married to my gorgeous wife Victoria. we got married in 2006, we’ve had our ups and downs liek all couples do and we have come through it because i thought we were strong.
I had major back surgery in 2011 that failed now i have disc degenerative disease throughout my spine and survive my days on large amounts of morphine just to get me walking.
My Mother passed away in Nov 2012 and i felt a part of me died too, my Father died in 2007 the day before my Birthday and that is crippling me big time. […]
Uh..Hi fellow internet people out there….I’m new here and I’m a big loser……at least that’s what everyone says…
Anyways, I have A LOT of problems, but I try not to show them or let people know I have these problems.
I am unintelligent, ugly, shy, depressed, chubby, anti-social. and terrible at everything….
Now you know a little about me and thank you if you’re reading this
Have a good day or night,
From, LG (Losergirl)
I am so tired. My method so easy. It’s just so unfair how easy, painless, and certain it will be.
I keep coming to the same two doorways. Both lead me here.
Behind one is that I am right and I am in fact good for nothing but working day in and day out. That I’m worth no more than what could be traded for money and in the long run, a comfortable place to enjoy loneliness in a body with genes that nobody would prefer to pass onto their least favorite kind of mushrooms.
Behind the second is that I am wrong and in fact crazy. That […]
The air was so cold on that dreadful October night,
As I shivered in my thin blankets three,
I sat waiting for a call that would never come,
From someone who said they cared about me.
As the hours ticked on I worried that they were hurt,
It is a possibility you know,
But as I sat there a horrid thought crossed my mind,
As horrible as any I know,
This person never did know how to be late,
Not even for school or for work,
So how could someone I loved so very very much,
Turn out to be such a damn jerk,
Then my thoughts took […]
The Muk, back and forth
Approaches from the dark
It approaches coming at you
Why doesn’t it stop
Side to side
Who or what, does it try to find
Butterfree, Caterpie
Nidoran, Nidoran
Waiting for the day that I can be alone
But then, I need somebody to help me breathe
The labyrinth, the spiral
Maybe one day, my electric one
Will I fly but I need to now
Bicycle, bicycle, auto-vehicle
I came home from a 12 hour shift at work, and saw this old picture in my phone. We seemed so happy at the time, and all I can think about is how much we were in love, but now as the tears stre down my face, all I can think about is the pain. When I’m alone, I can’t help but have dark thoughts of ending it all because I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You were the one that made life worth living. I know that people say that I’ll get over it, but right now the only thing I’m trying […]
I recently had my girlfriend (who I thought was the love of my life) somewhat leave me. I thought that she was the one, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She made me so happy, that I couldn’t imagine life (or living) without her. When we first started dating, I felt the happiest that I have ever felt in my life. We were so in love, and she would look in my eyes and all of my problems went away. But now I just feel alone, I haven’t seen her in like two weeks, and she won’t reply to […]