I’m tired. My body detests me. I’ve put it through hell. The scars can attest to that. I can’t fall asleep without a drink in me. I close my eyes at two in the morning and wake up to non existing screaming a couple hours later. The men in my life have all disappointed me. I’ve been bought off with money and sex. And yet, whose to say that it’s not my fault as well? I can’t find worth in myself. I don’t know if I’m pretty or pretty stupid. I don’t know. At the time I sure as hell didn’t care. I just want to have that […]
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Angry All The Time
i am 19 years old, I live with mom, my sister studies abroad and my father is rarely home. I have good parents, i know they love me and i know that i love them too. but, i have no idea why every time i’m around my family, especially my mom, i always get pissed, and i’m always angry all the time for no reason. i think a part of me feels that it is kind of my family’s fault because we’re not like a normal family, we don’t go out together, i’m not close with my father and every time i talk with my […]
I feel like that again. Like all I can do is cry. And be depressed. And hate myself. My tears feel like razor blades. My heart aches. Yet again, I’m not who I seem to be. I’m empty. I’m scared… I want to be gone, so no one has to deal with the pathetic excuse for a person that I am. And so I can be done with this. Disgust is the only thing I see in myself. I’m the one who made myself like this. And there is no way to fix me. I depend on pills to keep me alive, to numb my […]
I don’t know why I’m writing this, maybe it’s to release all my feelings somehow but I don’t think it’ll make a difference. I didn’t have a great childhood. My parents always fought and my dad was/is abusive. It hurt to see him hurt my mom and my two younger sisters. I used to care that he hit me but I got used to it and I just wanted to protect everybody else. Heck, I used to crave him abusing me because in my head that meant scars, bruises, belt marks. Evidence. I hoped that one day it would get so bad that someone would […]
Hi.. my history is not really about suicide, but i went very close to that, and sometimes i still think about it, but i know i wont succeed.
Sorry for my english, my main lenguague is portuguese, and i’ll try my best here to express my feelings, or whatever this is.
I mean i dont feel nothing about the world, i dont feel nothing, really, i just try to picture myself in every kind of life and i just dont get excited about anything, i look around and i picture big zeros, like nothing matters.
Everything can happen to me, that i wont care.
I get angry all the […]
  Hi, I’m Daniel and I’m new here…and well I’ve been thinking about killing myself as of today. And it’s not like I just decided to kill myself because of a sudden mood swing, I’ve really thought about this long and hard for several years. I’m not asking for you to sympathize with me, I just want people to lsiten for once.
   Well to sum it up, I was bullied on my first day of high school which ended up lasting for several years untill all of the verbal, physical and sexual harrassement stopped during the second semester of grade 11. I was laughed at, teased about my looks and […]