Bad History

I Have a very bad history, I have an abusive father, I have been raped by my brother when I was a kid, I Lost what was precious to me, etc. here recently I have been feeling like a machine, I have been reading what these scientists have been saying and they say that consciousness is a quantum process and that the soul is universal material and that pretty much everything we do is all body based. if that is so then can someone tell me the best way to commit suicide, I dont want to live my life if I am just a fucking […]