how good moments before sleep feels. i feel like finally its ending, finally i’m going to be unconscious. i feel like tomorrow is gonna be totally different; i’m gonna be totally different. actually i feel glad that tomorrow is not gonna be ‘me’, it will be somebody else who will wake up and face all the struggles. me is ending today. its almost like suicide, only there is no fear or selfishness attached because of trust. and yet its me who wakes up again, with all the same sameness. do i anymore belong here? is this a new escape trick my mind is playing?
There is peace all over this earth, but never will I find peace. I don’t belong anywhere, and everywhere I go, all I see is disapointment and isolation. I love this planet, and I love humanity. Thing is, humans with no respect are destroying it and I can’t stand it. It hurts me to see all these animals being mistreated and chopped into food, it hurts to see all this oil and trash in our beautiful seas, all these people starving, these nuclear stations, this poison in our food, the polluted air, wars, fluoride in the water…. I’m just a witness of all this desolation […]
I don’t be long in this world I don’t belong on this earth
I don’t belong in this family
I don’t belong in foster care
I don’t belong anywhere
Lately i have been listening to some songs about suicide and i just cant help it anymore.They seem to call my name.I have been down lately and i honestly don’t know why.No-one is picking on me like usually.It was a everyday thing now its just a every other day thing.But i just feel like i don’t belong.I Fell such sadness.The song i listen to now makes me want to cry.But i love it.It talks about how a girl hangs herself.She pretended to be happy.Her mom and dad come home.Her mom finds her,screams,and faints.Then her little sister comes in.Crying she hugs her dad tight.No-one ever even […]
So, tomorrow I will be away from technology for 24 hours, because I’m involved in the Every 15 Minutes project.
“The Every 15 Minutes Program offers real-life experience without the real-life risks. This emotionally charged program, entitled Every 15 Minutes, is an event designed to dramatically instill teenagers with the potentially dangerous consequences of drinking alcohol and texting while driving. This powerful program will challenge students to think about drinking, texting while driving, personal safety, and the responsibility of making mature decisions when lives are involved.” (-The Website)
I couldn’t tell very many people, because nobody at school can know it’s happening, so I had to tell […]
Need to vent. Try and puke this stuff up on the page (sorry).
I have Bipolar 1, and I have it bad. It’s ruined my life. While manic I did so many crazy and awful things.
When criminals are tried, if a doctor says they were ‘of unsound mind’ that can be a defence.
I have no such defence. Nobody ain’t defending me, and I can’t defend myself.
I brought a child into the world under these regrettable circumstances.
He now, understandably, hates me.
I distract myself continually. I can’t let myself dwell on the past, present or future.
Long time since I posted here. I came back.
Putting my hopes in somehow […]
i spend most of my time, thinking to myself. trying to tell my self that yes, these people exist, they have feelings, their heart beat and they feel sad sometimes too.. but then again, how can I be so sure? and i can’t tell anyone how i really think, they’d think i’m crazy. who knows. Maybe i am crazy.
I spend most of my time wanting to die. the anxiety in me, the feeling of wanting to do everything at once, but having no purpose in doing it, not wanting to, why does it all matter? all what we do is grow up to get […]
I belong to theory. Followers belong to practice. I tried to combine both but nothing worked and i don’t know why.
everyday … everyday i go into college i feel so judge , that i don’t belong where i am . in my college class everyone has there friends … i do have mine to but they are all older then me by a couple of years but now its got to a point where everyone is turning on me ..i don’t know why or what i have done wrong … i was just being my self i guess . i cant tell my parents or my boyfriend .. not even my tutor , i have given up hope because no will understand, i know […]
It’s been at the back of my mind for a while. But now I’ve come to realise that it’s more than just suicidal thoughts. I’ve gotten to a point where I just have this really strong feeling that there’s something not right about me being alive. It’s not a result of bullying or any sort of trauma, it’s just a feeling, a really strong one. Over the past few weeks I’ve been putting myself through relatively dangerous “tests” to see whether I belong here or not. So far, I’ve survived them (clearly) but they’re not enough proof for me that I belong anymore. I just […]
Older Posts