I just don’t care enough to live anymore. Yes, I realize that life isn’t always good. Sometimes you go through hardships because it strengthens you and you learn from your mistakes. But I honestly feel as if I have gone through much more bad than good and it doesn’t ever seem as if things will get better despite the fact that I am trying. So why keep trying? Yeah, I might have it better off than some people. I also have it worse than others. And we’ll all die one day anyway… and it doesn’t matter if you’ve lived a life you wanted to live […]
I am 19 and for the past 3 years I have felt like shit. I fell hopeless, unloved, unimportant, insignificant. I feel like nothing really matters. I feel like my life is directionless and has no meaning. I am in major pain. I have a low self esteem even though I have been told the opposite of what I think. I feel like people are lying to me. I make good grades in my college courses that I take. I still feel stupid. I feel unwanted. I have no friends and no boyfriend because I am introverted. I can’t seem to make myself feel better […]
I made you a promise.. I promised to tell somebody, to show them the cuts and scars. You promised that things would get a lot better if I did. In all honesty, I’m scared to. Why should I tell someone something that they’ll never understand? They won’t know what to do or how to react.. The idea of getting better really scares me. I haven’t felt “better” in so long that even if I do get better, I might not even realize I am.
I want to go where you went. I want to experience what you experienced. I need to go far away, I need […]
if you walked by a crowed of people. would you be able to point out the ones that are sad and the ones who have nothing better to do then just kill them selvs?
so first, i want to apologize if i say anything that I’m not supposed to. i do that a lot >.>
well a month ago i tried to kill myself, and afterwards i thought that everything would be fine, and i felt happy. now i feel like theres no future for me and that I’m gonna feel depressed for the rest of my life, and really empty. i know that ill probably feel better by tomorrow but then ill just feel bad again. T_T again sorry if i say something wrong, I’m not good about talking to people about my feelings or actually feelings in general.
now […]
The day we have to be parted
When I don’t have you next to me
The distant between us makes me feel weary and loneliness begins to creep into my heart
But everytime when I hear that song… the song we used to listen together, my heart gets dirtied away
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As if I could feel your tender warmth when you were near
Do you know there is this one song… whenever I hear it, I would only think of you
And I don’t know how long it would be till we […]
It definitely feels amazing when they say I’m thinner.
Feels even better when I say “no” to food while everyone else is helplessly stuffing their mouths. I am strong. I love this feeling.
“Am I better off dead? Am I better off a quitter? They say I’m better off now than I ever was..”
Dear Mom and Daddy,
You won’t ever read this because if I wanted you to then I would be writing this on paper and mailing to you to get a week from now. I’ve played over in my head a million times how to say all of this to you and I still don’t know how, but let me ask you something..
Did it ever occur to you that I’m not better!? That I’m not okay, in reality I’m worse than ever, and I’ve just gotten a […]
So I woke up this morning, and decided I want to be better. Easier said then done, but I’m going to start trying now. I see myself in a better life, better situations and I’m going to work hard for it now.
Bring it on severe depression, I’m finally ready to fight you.
I’m at a crossroads now
I either die
Or I find a way to live
I better just sleep on it
I’m not in a good mind set right now
I was told by a doctor that the reason I am sick is because I lack positive thinking.
This was a professional medical doctor.
I was supposed to tell this idiot that I would get better in a matter of months. The positive thinking would make it so.
If I did not repeat the words, that I would be healed, then it was my own fault if I stayed sick, because it meant I wanted to remain sick.
I declined.
I have an incurable genetic defect. I have had it since birth. I am disfigured by it. It is not curable.
Doctors….or demons?
Lady, to me, you will always be a demon.
Well this is my story.
I’ve always had depression since I can remember. I never thought I had a chance at a regular life… I’ve had a pretty rough childhood and teenage life. It all started when I was 5. Something terrible happened to me and it changed me in so many ways. I’ve never been the same ever since.. I’ve been rapped multiple times and I’ve was beat growing up by my step father and when I was 14 I found out I was pregnant and my sons father always hit on me, choked me, and controlled me in every way possible. We stayed together […]
I’m so tired, i cant take it anymore, i thought i was getting better even the thoughts had left my head, then they just came crashing back and now it’s just like it was before. I cant tell my family, they thought i was getting better how can i tell them it was just an act. that i still feel the crushing loneliness, the hatred inside. How do i survive? I don’t have anyone, nobody seems to care  and the ones i thought did care, just turn their backs on me. I just want someone to look at me and tell im not alone. But […]
Does anyone else ever put themselves in risky situations in hopes that they might be killed? Like walking at night hoping to get ran over or stabbed, or going hiking in an unknown area and you’re inexperienced, driving in bad weather, or do some extreme sport or activity. Anything that puts you at risk, because you feel like it would be better to get in an “accident” instead of committing suicide, which has so much stigma attached to it.
I do this, I find myself not caring if something happens to me. A lot of times IÂ hope something happens to me.
I’ve met somebody online..
This person is making me feel better than anyone ever did before. This person has an endless capacity to love people. This person is stronger than anyone I met before. This person is positive and happy right now. Maybe ’cause she knows her time will come soon ? I don’t know that, but it’s surprising how a terminally ill person can make me wanna live.
I wish she could stay alive. But maybe she wouldn’t be the same person, and I need to enjoy her “presence” while she’s still there.
I often ponder death wondering if its better than dealing with the pain walking around broken beaten and just done death is always the answer that comes to my mind at least it seems like the easy way out
I used to care about things like success, and school, and grades… but now it’s like none of that matters anymore. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care what happens to me anymore. I;m not sure what to do anymore. I’m just drifting around now, with no purpose. Pain is the only thing I can control now. That’s better than nothing.
I could lie and say that everything gets better and life is amazing but that wouldn’t help. 3 Days ago I made a decision to take my own life, I bought a bunch of painkillers and vodka and thought I wanted to die… it didn’t work and I spent 2 days in the hospitals poison ward attached to a drip with a needle sticking outta my hand, I had to listen to my families reaction over a phone call and it killed me having to hear what I did to them, I will never forget the sounds of my mum crying, not knowing what happened. […]
I don’t post very much, but I read everything, every day. I’ve seen some pretty insane stories here. Rape victims. Divorces gone terribly awry. Abusive parents, siblings, or other family members. People who lost everything. The list goes on and on; the list of, for lack of a better name, “typically depressed” people.
It’s incredible to me how the “typically depressed” crowd (and I say that with extreme respect) can be so strong. Lots of people have bounced back from these insane ordeals better than they were before. Sure, they’re depressed for awhile, but they “get over it,” […]
It really sucks when you attempt to kill yourself, or talk about killing yourself, you have to go stay in a psychiatric hospital for however long. I know that there are some facilities that are awesome and are really helpful, but it seems that most of them don’t do any good.
There you are at the lowest point in your life and absolutely miserable, and then you are forced to go stay at a hospital with all of your rights stripped away when really the best thing is for you to be in your home where you are comfortable and can go about your life.
When you’re […]