I’m so happy.
I’m so lost.
I’m confused.
Everything is a swirling black hole.
And no matter which way I go,
It ends in some sort of disaster.
Days turn to weeks,
Weeks turn to months,
Months turn to years.
I try to turn around,
Or run forward,
But I run into black holes that I can’t fall into.
And I can’t feel.
I don’t feel anything but,
Unhappiness.
Pain.
That’s the sad but brutal truth.
Sometimes I believe,
There’s happiness in an eternal life.
I did it. I told him I did it. I didn’t just ‘leave him a message’ on Skype. I got up, called his ass at 2 am and spoke quietly.
“Hello?”
“……………………..”
“Hello? Domino, babe?”
“……………….. I told you I’d do it..”
“Do what?.. Domino are you okay?”
“I told you I’d do it. I’d–“
“Domino, did you have to call now?.. It’s 2 am…”
“…. I’d thought I’d be safe from it all..”
“… Safe from what?”
“The thoughts.. the paranoia, the facts, everything.”
“.. Domino is someone with you in the house?..”
“……………… Just me, mi amor.”
“Domino?”
“Hm?..”
“How old am I?”
“[protection purposes, I’m not putting what I said, but I was right.]”
“Okay, so you are up, […]
I feel myself changing. I feel myself getting happier.. Getting so close to being the real me again. It feels great. I’m more positive than negative. The best part is being able to understand the few who fall so deep in these incredible black holes that we feel we can’t escape.. But it’s only because we refuse to open our eyes. I found out that there is so much I want to accomplish before I go. Hopefully someday though.. I won’t need medication to feel like I’m walking on water. I still have so much to go through before I get.. Better. Now, I’m hoping […]
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