I hold the thick black string around my neck. I stare in  the mirror at my face. It goes from pale, to red, to purplish- gray. I can’t breathe, and it’s peaceful. I don’t know why but for some reason choking myself helps. Even though I could go longer, I stop before I pass out so no one finds out, and I don’t get admitted into a hospital. This is what calms me down, this and cutting. Its messed up, I know.
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