I don’t know if I should be here (This site) Only because I haven’t hurt myself in around 5 years, but lately I’ve been feeling exactly how I did when I was 13-16 (20 now), I just don’t really want to live anymore, (Already crying) I just can’t help it, whenever I’m alone I have to fight to keep myself from either bursting into tears or picking up the knife for the first time in years, I feel so helpless and I don’t know what to do, I want to see a counselor but I don’t really like telling my life story to new people every week […]
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Bursting Into Tears
Five hundred.
Five hundred and one.
Five hundred and two.
Five hundred and fifty.
Five hundred and sixty.
Five hundred and seventy eight.
The numbers are there, but I can’t help bursting into tears everytime I realize I’m not cutting deep enough. That I can’t. I know it’s a user problem but I blame my razor. The blades not sharp enough. That’s why I’m cutting so lightly. That’s why I haven’t been able to cut over a centimeter deep. I’d numb my leg like a post suggested, but that freaks me out.
It’ll never be deep enough. I’ll never be good enough to press harder. […]
IÂ cut. A lot..
I’ve done it for about a year. I swore to myself I would never harm myself like that, but look where I am now. I have an arm and two ankles covered in scars and cuts. I think of cutting as a stronger way of crying; i feel so weak just bursting into tears, so intsted i cut, it shows i’m strong enough to deal with pain. But now I know I need to stop. People who mean so much to me tell me I need to stop. I’m loosing people because of it. I nearly went to hospital because the bleeding wouldn’t stop. […]