Put some white roses on my casket.
Make my grave shallow so I can feel the rain.
And burn all my things. Especially my poetry.
This is not how I want to be remembered.
Today marks one year since my dad passed..
its crazy even thinking about it bcuz it feels like it was just yesterday. I will never forget seeing him in his casket at his funeral. That had to be the hardest thing to ever witness or even deal with, but I did it & i’m so proud of myself.
i’ve gotten through so much shit this year ! i’ve accomplished so much, yet made so many mistakes. i’ve messed up so bad at times, but I tried to make him proud the best way I could.
Daddy, i’m so sorry for everything i’ve done, all the mistakes […]
Since I was 14 or 15 I’ve detested living, but for the most part I’ve hung in there for other people. I tried back in 2000 (and obviously failed) to overdose on xanax. Apparently, I didn’t take enough. When I woke up I was PISSED. I ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks. The last several years of my life have been as far from positive and happy as it can get. Lost my job and after living in another state for 16 years I had to move back in with my parents because I have NO money left. My father will not speak […]
I don’t know.
I find myself every day saying this. I repeat this word alot. I’ve been living with the spectre of suicide since I was 8, I’ve hated life since then.  I saw my grandfather lying in the casket, and everyone was crying, I didn’t understand until I went over and told grandpa to wake up… he didn’t wake up.
Grandpa was just sitting there, not moving. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t getting up. I kept hoping he would get up, thinking that he was just asleep, but he was too still. In my little mind, I knew he was too still. I learned about […]
My feelings about suicide after a beloved family member took their own life in 2012.
Happier Times
December 16, 2008 – Tuesday […]
No one is going to read this. I don’t know why I came back here to this website. I figured I never would after I found it the first time, but here I go again… This is exactly like when I found out I was pregnant, to a T; I was going to end my life, but then, an opportunity presented itself. I saw what might be a reason to live. Judging by before, assuming that the past paints a pretty good portrait of the future, I’ll be worse off than before. If I had gone through with everything before, I wouldn’t be hurting this way […]