I feel as if I’m going insane.. Losing my mind. Losing it.. Like I’ve lost everything else. Everything is cold.. dark.. and unforgiving. Everything sets me back.. So far back. I thought I could have just something that could be mine but I was only mistaken because here it goes. Growing wings.. and slowly setting off. I should whisper goodbye but the words won’t go.. won’t slide off my lips into the cold air.. They’re ready but won’t go. I need help but don’t really know where to look.. I’m alone.. So alone.. I have been alone and finding help is hard so do I […]
Tag:
Cold Air
I remember the way your hair looked in rollers the first night you slept in your new room. You had bags under your eyes just like your dad, and I kinda knew why. I always seem to just know. The comforter on the bed was thin and had strange pink and blue pastel colored dots or some sort of design. I had no idea what kind of impact you would have on my future. The entire time I knew you I didn’t get a glimpse of what was bothering you, I just saw how it made you feel. If there was anything I could have […]
Ten years ago
We were both fifteen. Teenagers. Too old to be called children, and barely old enough to be called teens. Too old to be taken care of, but too young to get many freedoms. Lost, reckless and confused, much like the majority of our age group. Except for one tiny difference: we were being held in a school for emotionally unstable teens.
Neither of us thought there was anything wrong with ourselves, but apparently the rest of the world disagreed. We were both there for the same reason, which was cutting and repeated suicide attempts. Nothing some special school could fix; just a bit of […]
This is a first. I’m sitting in the dark, if it weren’t for the glow of my phone’s screen. Pathetic, is it not? The age we live in. Specifically 4:46am in the wilderness that is upstate New York. This place is devoid of all things meant to nourish – as a life long denizen it’s cruel atmosphere is taking it’s harsh toll on me. Too many thoughts, too many restless nights….the cold air has entered my mentality and is stifling all that may prosper. I lay here contemplating attempt #3. I have given up yet again. It’s been 6 years since […]