i don’t know how this idea started but i had this strong feeling that i was going to die before i turned 13. i felt all alone and didn’t have much to live for.even though i was young i was unafraid of death or what would happen after. i was so confused when i live through my 13 birthday. now as i grow i still don’t see much purpose to me living but now i have this ever constant fear of death. what age has done to me giving me fear i did not know as a child.
Tag:
Constant Fear
We are gathered here today, brought together by sadness and a young girl’s demise
A conclusion reached because of the boy with the lies
Her told her things each day, no one should have to hear
So often in fact, she lived in constant fear
She no longer looked forward, always looking back
Building up her defenses for the boy’s next attack
Day in and day out she heard the boy with the lies
Make fun of everything- from her feet to her eyes
Even the way that she walked was absurd
She remembered every mean thing she heard
Even when she was alone, […]
I am not pretty,
I am not smart,
I am not beautiful,
and I self harm.
I have a cold heart
don’t have nothing to give,
You should move on,be
with someone who isn’t shit.
I am so blank,
I am emotionally drained,
I am a cutter,
My clothes are blood stained.
Not worth the wait,
Not worth your tears,
I think you know that
but had to make it clear.
You can’t waste time,
over someone like me,
I may seem strong,
but inside I’m weak.
I don’t know the time
I really have,
I’m scared I’ll hurt You,
I’m scared like hell!
You can’t live your life
in constant […]
since i’m already here might as well vent out a little bit. maybe some input may give me a bit more perspective instead of using the option of death to calm me down.
turned 24 last month, introverted, depressed for the past 10 years or so, finding it difficult fitting in the modern world and i find it difficult to connect with people and a deeper level. i feel so detached from everything and everyone. i’m more often than not, isolated from the “real” world and watching other people live their lives to the fullest is making me wonder why i can’t do the same thing. […]
i can create a beautiful life in my imagination. i am able to share my imagination with people. however, i can’t live the beautiful life which my inspired imagination painted for me. my ideals that ostensibly obstruct my connection with humanity are strangling me now. i am a man who lives in a constant fear state. i live out my life in other worlds that are not real since i cannot live in this one. it’s not that i want to die so much as it is that i can’t live. i will always be half of a great man. never a great man. a […]
these pills have made me into a zombie:
numb
dead
cold.
I can’t speak,
I can’t move,
I can’t cry.
I just stare and wish someone would talk to me,
force me to open my mouth, my eyes.
This constant fear and darkness isn’t what life is supposed to be, I want to give up.