I have an obsession with darkness. In the dark or at night there is a calmness. Something you can’t see or touch. But it is there. Of course nights are also filled with pain. With the realization that the loneliness is never ending. I sometimes dread the night. Knowing I will be forever alone. Lost in the darkness. No comfort. No solutions. Just lost and alone throughout eternity. This isn’t a life. This is a curse.
Tag:
Curse
Kill me.
Kill me now, cut deep into my veins and bleed me until there’s nothing left
Nothing of me in this world
This wretched, hard, horrid place
Moving from mishap to mishap
never stopping
never breaking the cycle
I must get free of this cycle
The cycle bound by the chains of mortality
The only way to get out
to break free of my mortality
but the reason to get out?
to make life better.
STOP!
what is this?
this world? full of paradox and irony
the universe seems to cackle at every one of the informed
bringing them down further and further
there […]
That is how I feel. I can’t believe I’m actually at a site like this but it’s getting worse. I’ve long felt I was depressed (my entire life), but this is the first time I’ve actually called it quits. I love life and the experiences of living, I just hate my own life and would wish it upon nobody. I think the only reason why I haven’t succeeded in killing myself is because of one relative in my life.  I have to outlive them. But once they go, my expiration will be soon after. Probably the same day.
There is absolutely nothing wrong in my life with the […]
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