I wake up every morning with this constant desire to die. It just feels wrong to be alive. First words out of my mouth are “I want to die.†It’s become my mantra, for lack of better words. I’ve felt this way since I was about fourteen. I’ve been to therapy and talked with counselors and psychologists but my need to die can never be unearthed. I get asked about sexual abuse and trauma, there is none. I get asked about physical abuse, there is none. I’ve had a great life, great family, people who love me […]
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Dark Thoughts
What random rambling shall be sewn together today in this post.
I’m moving forward a bit, trying my best to push dark thoughts from my mind. The nice retreat to a rented house on the beach helped too :). Realize I need to get away from home. As soon as I got back then my uberly happy mood went BLAH! It’s disappointing how people are not aware of how their actions effect others. Don’t think they really care.
I also realize that I have no real goals. Nothing particular to strive for. Right now I’m just going. Just chugging along til I run out of train track. […]
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