Like all humans the boy had limits.Limits to what he could do.but also limits to what he could take and after all the time that had passed he finally understood one fact.He would always be alone.the boy had tried harder than most people would have…he tried harder than he should have….he gave up.he was done.he decided to not care anymore.he cut himself off.he showed nothing.that darkness in his heart had once again warped him.his face grew blank.no smiling.no more crying.nothing…he gave in to the lonliness.he kept it all inside.his feelings of pain and resentment and sadness…he decided to close them in his heart and pretend […]
Tag:
deep
Hello all. This is my first post so please bear with me. I am a 35 yo female struggling with several mental illnesses including chronic depression and Borderline personality disorder. Im not sure how i should be anymore because everything i have tried f-ed things up. I finally have gotten to the point i understand im not lazy, faking, seeking attn or looking for an excuse. However, it does not take away the Emptiness inside. Nor does it take away the feelings of wanting to commit suicide. I don’t understand why even on my good days small things can happen and i think i dont […]
Just done tryin,
Tired of cryin.
Got nothing to give,
Got no reason to live.
No one will care,
No one will be there.
Just me all alone,
Just want to go home.
Walk into the sea,
Let it swallow me.
Become one with the deep.
Eternal sleep.
I thought i would never see u again
i thought i barried u down deep
but your back
with that horrible feelings
ur trying to get to me
but it worked
u got me
and now im going to kill myself
happy i bet u are
Well good bye world
-brian
I am having the hardest time getting out of this bed today…. It’s super frustrating. I don’t understand how I’m just expected to wipe off these tears and go about life with the fake smile plastered on my face that I am forced to share. I can’t afford to miss work anymore. This struggle is beyond me, but I’ll take just one more step today, because somewhere deep down I know there’s more life left to go.
I fear I may lose sight
Of the light at the end of the tunnel
Each and every day, it gets less bright.
Enveloped in darkness I stay,
The happy memories fading away,
As everything turns to gray.
Most nights, I’m alone and distraught.
Thoughts of ending it all,
I slip farther into the deep.
This incline is proving to be too steep.
Life is so tough and BDD makes everything worse…
The last time I went to the psychiatrist I was diagnosed with depression and the Dr. recommended antidepressants, I refused to accept the “treatment”, I know those stupid pills ain’t gonna solve my problem, probably plastic surgery and aesthetic treatments will do.I’m really sure I got BDD, I have all the symptoms, I even explained my situation on experice project and some users who also have BDD agreed with me.
I just wanna sleep forever…BDD it’s a living hell, the tiniest skin blemish can drive you mad, I to make things even worse I got acne blemishes and they […]
Butterfly, butterfly; come to me like a ship into the heart of the storm.
You can never give up; to the death, see you in the afterlife.
Use the Phoenix-down, come to me. Press start. Seek our palace to die.
Why do you not take me away from hell. Come.
The apex, my defect. I need somebody. To the express polar.
Tonight, tonight. The moon didn’t come out.
I love the deep jazz, of the astral.
Who is to save the undead.
Melancholy, why does that sound so beautiful.
Transcendence. Alpha-death. The other to form the trinity.
I want to sing the opera with my trip-hop. […]
I’m not quite sure of who I am.
sometimes I like to think that I am a perfectly fine teenager because isn’t the biggest symptom of madness denying you have a problem? if I admit to this I am probably not quite insane, am I?
but I’m too tired too tired to care too tired to live all I want is to fall into a deep slumber forever and ever…
its painful to wake up everyday dreading that you’re gonna live.
life has been deliriously tiring lately I don’t even know what I’m doing. sometimes I wish I could drag that blade across my wrist hard but no matter […]
I am my feet, and my ways. Guided by peace to this day. I need my needs, cause I am sand. So I will slip in to your hands, and beyond your reach.
I speak the words holding me, like clashing these bricks and these swords, cutting deep through my soul. I reap the rewards for good seeds and still retain some sort of piece to myself.
I am my feet, no, not my name. Guided by hate through this game. I need release from this place and the chains still draining me until this day.
I am my search and my sins. Guided by […]
Like all humans the boy had limits.Limits to what he could do.but also limits to what he could take and after all the time that had passed he finally understood one fact.He would always be alone.the boy had tried harder than most people would have…he tried harder than he should have….he gave up.he was done.he decided to not care anymore.he cut himself off.he showed nothing.that darkness in his heart had once again warped him.his face grew blank.no smiling.no more crying.nothing…he gave in to the lonliness.he kept it all inside.his feelings of pain and resentment and sadness…he decided to close them in his heart and pretend […]
Nothing is getting any better. I thought that after cancer I could face anything… that the world had to throw me some sort of bone, but it hasn’t. I don’t know what to do anymore. The only thing i wake up for is my job… and here people are constantly yelling. I get scared and i want to be held… but the only man who i trust to hold me cant stay here for much longer. i dont want to rely on him to be my savior. frankly, i’m tired of being saved. I want nothing more than to sleep, but as of late, that’s […]
I am a depressive person, My first suicide attempt was at age six and all I wanted is peace, never have to feel again.
Depression it’s not sadness, but lack of vitality, a suffering so huge over anything so little to anybody else.
I grew up to become a chemical-pharmacist and treat myself and I want to say I been reading you guys and know many of you think you may not actually get to suicide and just come here and read and post because you feel like it; like waiting until you feel so fucked up that fear and doubt are gone. Believe me, […]
As I walk through life I imagine it’s one big knife. At any second I can slip and watch my life end. I can imagine the pain I would cause if I went, but I can only blame myself. I try my hardest to get it out of my mind but there’s always that one thing that puts me on the edge. That one person who pushes things to far. That one person who makes the pain not look as bad. That’s why they say time heals all wounds but sometimes the cut is just too deep.
Yesterday I wanted to commit suicide so I cut sure it wasn’t on or near the vein but I cut. Today I wanted to commit suicide so I cut right below the veins and I felt yeah I’m better now. But then the future came and my other side said “well today is pleasant isn’t it” and I thought yeah it is. “Well think about this if it is pleasant why are you still here shouldn’t you be dead anyways no one would care” so I thought ya he’s right. So I did I cut right on the veins deep deep into them I watched […]
These aren’t just the sorrowed stories of failure and loss..
These are cries of the war we live! The fight to be more! The battle for what’s right! These are the violent screams we leave behind for tomorrow! With words sharper than razors, to cut deep into our wasted faith, bleeding out from who we once were, to scab over the person we so desperately desire to be!
We breath, we bleed, we sing… we sing till there is no song to be sung!
I love it…
I love feeling the sharp pain as the razor slides across my skin and flesh,creating an opening…
I love the euphoric feelings that comes with every new cut…
I love feeling in control of myself…
I love mutilating myself,through cutting or any other way…
Basically,I only live to harm myself.Smoke as much as I can and hope I get lung cancer.Cut as long and deep as I can until I go to the ER to get fixed.Drink as much as I can,until I collapse into an alcoholic blackout and wake up 24 hours later…
I have learned to enjoy physical pain…As I said,it’s the only thing I keep […]
Into the deep blue depression sea (I wrote this a couple years ago)
by HarleyJean21
written by HarleyJean21
These scars on my wrists
are from when I was pissed
uncontrollable anger
silent screams of unspoken words
I see stories
you see scars
lines of defeat
wounds of strength
Self mutilation feels better than you think
especially when your blood rises and your skin turns pink
constant competition between mind and body
both so weak you all you can do is fall
You say you “understand”
but nobody ever will
not even me.
-Harley
Sick of people telling me there will be monsters and deep dark caverns of doom if I kill myself. That’s a pile of horseshit. Not a single one of you know what happens after death and I don’t give a fuck for any opinions based on nothing but your own twisted imaginations. You think there is nothingness? Good for you. You might be in for a surprise.
Off anti-psychotics, I can see things clearly. Life is a never-ending circle of betrayal, shallow people, and morons complaining about ‘oh today I got a bad grade or he/she doesn’t like me.’ Get over yourself. There are people with […]
This is my first. I just have to get it out. All the reasons I hate myself. They make you believe that the happy pills will make it all better. I’ve been on them for three months, and here I am. Still depressed, still alone, still misunderstood. The main reason I hate myself is because I’m addicted to porn. All you people who are gonna say it’s natural shut the hell up and look somewhere else. I don’t care if it’s natural. I don’t care if the freaking pope did it. He’s not me. Do you know what it’s like to be called disgusting by […]