Tag:

Depression

The Letter, to the one that cared…

by Ghost9er 10/30/2014

written by Ghost9er

I’m sorry but, I can’t take it anymore… the nightmares get worse, my family seems to enjoy my suffering and online… things just seem to be getting worse, I can’t take it, I have no means of escaping the pain anymore…

I….. I have to end it all tomorrow, final chance for everything and everyone… Not like it’ll matter…. not like any of them will notice… :'( I’m sorry for not being good enough for you, I hope you find happiness, where I failed to provide you hope. :'( Good bye…. forever. :'(

But, please know, I didn’t want to do this to you, I’m not ending […]

10/30/2014 3 comments

No One Cares!

by Ghost9er 10/30/2014

written by Ghost9er

I should end my life, tomorrow’s the big day after all… No one will miss me, no one will care, Tomorrow is the only day I’ll have to myself, NO ONE WILL TAKE IT AWAY!

Tomorrow, I die!

Sliced wrists, Downed pills, and a rope around my neck! I’m making sure I die this time! GOOD BYE FOREVER YOU HEARTLESS MONSTERS OF THE WORLD!!!

10/30/2014 8 comments

I’m too scared

by plasticlike-cakes 10/29/2014

written by plasticlike-cakes

My life is bullshit. some would say I’m lucky, I mean, I got things that all materialistic people want, I’m not poor and I live in a fairly decent house, Even I, a 14 year old girl owns her own summer house. but the things that i have, don’t represent how shitty my life is, every night my mum is screaming and shouting at everyone, me, my sister, my grandma. my father left me at young age, not that I care.

I used to be called a prodigy, on top of everyone else, best scores, ‘teachers pet’, A* everywhere. they called me an artist, a mathematician, […]

10/29/2014 6 comments

Breaking even isn’t survival. It’s denial.

by Justanotherdude 10/29/2014

written by Justanotherdude

My life is a downtrodden groundhogs day.

I wake up every morning with a varying degree of hope and slowly pull myself out of bed. I turn on my computer, if it isn’t already on to charge my phone overnight, and my monitor then venture into the kitchen for a fresh cup of water. I like water. Fortunate I suppose, I know most people don’t. I could gladly skip juices and soft drinks for a steady supply of water. A fresh sip splashes my mind and cools my senses. Today isn’t so bad, I think to myself. If I’m hungry I’ll peer into the fridge and […]

10/29/2014 2 comments

3 More Days…

by Ghost9er 10/28/2014

written by Ghost9er

I simply don’t know how to feel about this anymore… I’ve been planning this for nearly a month now… And now that my time has come, I don’t know if I”m ready… no one from my family would miss me, none of them even care about me. If anything, they hate everything about me, from the sound of my voice to the fact that I exist. I’ve already tried countless times before, why is it that this time seems so much more difficult… I don’t know whats wrong with me anymore… it doesn’t matter though, because, this time I’ve planned the whole thing out, and […]

10/28/2014 6 comments

IVE BEEN GOING DOWN HILL OVER 3 YEARS NOW BUT RAPIDLY SINCE YESTERDAY

by owlpal 10/28/2014

written by owlpal

Where do i start eh?

I am 48 yrs old, married to my gorgeous wife Victoria. we got married in 2006, we’ve had our ups and downs liek all couples do and we have come through it because i thought we were strong.

I had major back surgery in 2011 that failed now i have disc degenerative disease throughout my spine and survive my days on large amounts of morphine just to get me walking.

My Mother passed away in Nov 2012 and i felt a part of me died too, my Father died in 2007 the day before my Birthday and that is crippling me big time. […]

10/28/2014 5 comments

Should I give up? Should I end it all…?

by Ghost9er 10/26/2014

written by Ghost9er

For nearly a month now, I have lost so many things in a matter of seconds, I never have time to cope with any of it, and I just can’t take the pain anymore as well… Seems like for as long as I can remember all I’ve gotten to feel is pain, pain, pain and more pain… Endless, never ending and unrelenting amounts of pain… It just never stops… it just keeps growing and growing, like an ocean that expands over the land, swallowing all in its path.

There just doesn’t seem to be any reason for me to exist at all anymore, no one wants […]

10/26/2014 0 comment

Reality sucks, Reality suck, Reality boring, I hate Reality, boring Reality, Reality is boring !

by niki 10/23/2014

written by niki

Reality is boring & LIMITED !! I hate Reality ! boring Reality !
Real life is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real life ! boring real life !
Real world is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real world ! boring real world !

I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!

Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, […]

10/23/2014 6 comments

Man under a train

by pinkcoconut 10/22/2014

written by pinkcoconut

Today before getting on the tube, I saw two fire engines and a police car pull up and go downstairs. I thought there might be a fire. Another blank police car turned up. Then a couple more fire engines. They took a stretcher down. Eventually an ambulance came too. I tried to go downstairs but it was closed.

I went to get the bus and said I wondered what had happened. He said that there was a man under the train. He didn’t know if he was dead. He was under his carriage.

I said I hoped that the person I was talking to was ok. […]

10/22/2014 0 comment

The Broken Chain

by Maddie 10/21/2014

written by Maddie

” We little knew the day that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn’t go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories.
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same,
but as God calls us one by one
the chain will link again. “

10/21/2014 0 comment

Couldn’t Sleep

by Zed86 10/20/2014

written by Zed86

Right. So it is 2:38 in the morning, and I couldn’t sleep. I’m up now, and made the mistake of thinking of old loves and old lives, otherwise known as old scars. Voila, here I am. Might as well tell my story. For the sake of being more direct (and not writing a 47 page essay) I will skip over less important times. If I crack too many inane jokes, it is not because I find it funny, but rather because jokes are easier for me to deal with than the feelings.

I was diagnosed at 11 with depression. Given anti-depression meds at 11. 11 years […]

10/20/2014 4 comments

The Unwritten Note

by Ghost9er 10/20/2014

written by Ghost9er

Dear,
Whomever is reading this, I have planned out my demise for nearly a month now, it took careful planning as well and I may add more to it, just to be sure. I cannot fail this time! I already have the items required to finally end my pain, forever. You, the reader of this final note of my existence will know, that I have not only hung myself but, have slashed my arms and drank some pills. I wanted to be sure of my demise. My reason for my untimely death is the pain that I couldn’t handle anymore.
For you see, ever since […]

10/20/2014 2 comments

A Reasonable End

by Ghost9er 10/17/2014

written by Ghost9er

Throughout my life I have been hated,
despite my efforts of approval of others.
Pushing myself beyond my limitations,
it was never enough, not even for my parents.
Abused, and bullied, I was never loved nor needed.
Rented to mental hospitals,
only to be tortured and experimented on.
No memories of happiness are inside my head,
only frequent reminders of hate.
No friends or moments of joy nor compassion.
Nothing to live for, no hope, no dreams, no desires.
I have nothing in my wake and even in my sleep,
the nightmares are there to hurt me more.
I end my life on this promising […]

10/17/2014 0 comment

Can i just die?

by Maddie 10/17/2014

written by Maddie

Can i please just die. No one cares about me. Everyone is always saying ” You’re only 13 you’re just acting depressed attention whore ” I am not trying to get attention. In reality i’m trying to stay away from people. I’m atheist. I’m bisexual. I’m suicidal. I’m emo. Apparently i should just fucking die. I don’t see any reason as to why i have to live anymore when no one wants me around. I’m done with life no one cares. Can i just die?

10/17/2014 0 comment

Broken.

by anseymourr 10/16/2014

written by anseymourr

All my life, since i was 6, my father mentally and physically abused me. It never really hit me till 2 years ago. I went in deep depression and i just shut down. I attempted to commit suicide twice, but i never really could do it. I guess i was scared to leave, or maybe i just didn’t have the guts. So i turned to cutting. This year has been the worst for me. Everyone that has said they were going to stay, left. So i have just shut everyone out. I don’t have many friends because i shut them up before they have a […]

10/16/2014 2 comments

No More

by Ghost9er 10/16/2014

written by Ghost9er

I have tried endlessly,
failing constantly.
I am a disappointment to my family,
a terrible failure.
No matter how hard I try,
it’s never enough.
I punish myself constantly pushing further,
and still not approved.
I have endured a great deal of suffering,
to please my family,
and still not enough.
Having been burned, bruised, and strictly damaged,
all in the name of making them happy.
But, it is never enough for those fiends.
They take whatever they can out of me,
drain me till I am weakened and broken.
Just to destroy me more,
They have no heart towards me.
Caring not of what […]

10/16/2014 2 comments

Damaged Goods

by Ghost9er 10/16/2014

written by Ghost9er

Dysfunctional in modern society, I do not belong anywhere.
Darkness has consumed my outlook on life,
and I cannot see any hope.
Despair has taken a liking to me, causing pain inside my being.
The suffering tortures me as it flows in my veins,
damaging every molecule and fiber of my existence.
Twitches are the result,
along with violent tremors,
all of which are noticeable.
Names are called upon me,
strong and power they pierce my feelings.
Making my emotions bleed in the shadows of torture.
Endlessly I hope for an end, but no one stops.
Like walking on pins and needles,
there is no […]

10/16/2014 1 comment

Maybe I should kill myself…

by Ghost9er 10/16/2014

written by Ghost9er

I’m sick of feeling nothing but pain… Tired of feeling the pain flow inside my head, echoing voices of a constant repeat of words of sharpened steel that have pierced my heart.
I am unwanted in this world, I am hated by many, and have no purpose in this life… I need to be erased, for I am… nothing more than a mistake!

10/16/2014 5 comments

Tired..

by rainbows 10/14/2014

written by rainbows

all I want to do right now is disappear

I’m tired

tired of living in this messed up body

tired of being me

tired of being shut out by friends

tired of being ignored

tired of being judged

tired of being lied to

tired of life…

I was okay for a while, it’s all coming back now.. I can’t do this again..

10/14/2014 1 comment

The Beginning (My life)

by Ghost9er 10/14/2014

written by Ghost9er

My first memory was when I was three, I was in a store and running from my father, I had this little pony tail, and my dad grabbed it and pulled me back, slamming the back of my head onto the ground. I don’t remember anything after that… and then the next memory I remember is when I was at this “Mental Hospital” I was about 5 years old, and had just woken up inside this room, there was no padding, there was a vinyl floor, everything was white or close to it, there was no toilet, no sink, no bed, no cot, no pillow, […]

10/14/2014 8 comments

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