there’s nothing more terrifying than returning to your body only to realize that hours have passed and you can’t remember anything that happened during that time period. being co-conscious and watching an alter take the front when I’m trying to do something important is the most frustrating shit. i’m the host. i don’t like relinquishing control of the front (not like I have a fucking choice) because i am in control the majority of the time. the worst part is that the particular alter that keeps taking the front is RARELY co-conscious so she literally just jumps in for 20 minutes, has no idea what the […]
Tag:
Dissociation
I’m so tired.
Partially because the ~6 or so hours of sleep I get are of abysmal quality, but I mostly attribute my exhaustion to me being sick. I’m so fucking sick. I’m so exhausted all the time, the nightmares and night terrors plague me and I spend a significant amount of my day thinking about the awful dreams or worrying that it’s some kind of “sign” or “warning,” as if I have precognition or some shit (I know it’s stupid, I don’t know why my anxiety seems to make me delusional to an extent). The effects of my PTSD are fucking debilitating. The dissociation kills […]
This site has been helping me so much. Thank you all again. I don’t want I’m trying to say in this post. I just want to post. I’m finding writing difficult today, so it might not make much sense.
I feel like I’m breaking. I don’t want to keep saying the same things over and over. Things are just worse right now. Depression is agony. Any coping tips you use, relaxation videos, $10,000 treatment programs you’re selling, etc, would be greatly appreciated. I’m still practicing meditation and it’s been helping more and more, but these past few days have been so painful. Any addition to what […]
Hey Suicide Project!
I’m new to the site and I’m kind of hoping that keeping a blog will be a good outlet for me. I’m Elizabeth and I suffer from a mental disorder known as Dissociative Identity Disorder or (DID). What does this mean? Well formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder or (MPD); DID is a mental disorder on the dissociative spectrum characterized by at least two distinct and relatively enduring identities or dissociated personality states that alternately control a person’s behavior. But, what does this mean for me? This means that I “host” several other alternate personalities. I refer to myself as the host because […]
hahahaha thank you Wretched. that’s the word I was looking for, I do this without realizing and then those who were closest to me have given up and moved on, i’m always making new ‘friends’ only to move on to the next set. is it because I’ve yet to move on, to grow up? is it that i need to take that next life step to truly have friends or do i just not care about others? hahaha cant even answer my own questions.
HEADCASE.
HEADCASE.
HEADCASE.
MAKE.IT.STOP.
uncontrollable anger. dissociation. guilt. mood swings.
LOST EVERYONE. no family, no friends, no NOTHING.
i dont want to die. but im not alive.
is there any other option?.
FUCK.
hey world …. hey people .. hey life ? ..
34 years old female from the uk – long term mental health problems
( depersonalisation , derealization , dissociation  ,depression * hey whats with all the friggen d’s ? )
anxiety , blah de blah blah – yeah i know im boring you *sigh*..
to cut a long story short …. ive come to a point in my life where i feel i have no other choice but to give up , everything i try to do DOESNTÂ and everyones lives ive come into contact with ive fckd up ! .. im […]