Today I realized how strange my parents treat me, my dad is over protective and paranoied ever since his brother died of an overdose and yet he abuses me both emotionaly and phisicaly, my momther says if she had to chose between me and my father she would always chose me and yet she stands by and watches me suffer. Both of my parents are are paranoied like I said earlier about things like me doing drugs, drinking, or cutting myself and yet when my scars from the years of cutting are showing, they pretend not to see them or they buy my lame excuses. […]
Tag:
Dread
I live my everyday with a six year old who tells me she hates me, that I disgust her and tells me how to run the household. Sounds pretty normal for dysfunction aside from the spitting, kicking, biting, screaming and rage she throws along with it. You think she sounds defiant well that doesn’t even skim the surface, this has been going on for years and I’m exhausted and just tapped out. I promised myself I would never scream at my child or spank her because I had that from my father growing up and it had lasting effects. Nothing works with […]
Everyday i walke up my head with the same thoughts of dread facing another day. Im a self harmer i cut just two days ago no this is not a suicide attempt it a short term pain relief that sometimes last for a while but recently im finding myself thinking more and more about suicide i think/imagine myself hanging . I share accomadation at the moment and committing suicide whilst here its not an option but im due to move into my own flat soon and its like my head is automatically making a plan of ending this life i feel like im constantly in […]
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