had a good day at work today. then-a wave of despair comes over me out of nowhere and i am bawling by the time i get home. just like someone flicked a switch or something. feeling very detached . don’t want to see anyone. don’t want to talk to anyone. don’t want to exist. my self imposed isolation has served to make me wary of people. but i hide in plain sight. feel myself slipping away. i am so damned tired. my body is aching , like i have been beaten up again. don’t know if it is depression or the meds. probably some combination […]
Tag:
Drumbeat
love the song. should change my username. had a 3 tissue session with wendy today. discussed what i meant when saying i felt like i was blocked. that my short bursts of intense emotions are maybe cracks in the “wall”. and that is why they come and go so easily. and what is on the other side of that wall? i don’t know. and the thought of finding out is terrifying. wendy says to embrace those emotions and try to see what is causing them. but the “blocking” comes so easily i don’t know how to stop it. i am scared of losing control. i […]