Screams for blood–but not for yours.
Times enough you bled your best;
Sleep on now, and take your rest.
he fucking killed me. how does it feel to know that you fucking had enough influence to make somebody else to want to disappear?! i am beyond hurt. i am so heartbroken i can’t keep going. nobody deserves this life.
why am i writing this? why am i writing here. it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t change anything. just venting. for what.
I went to the roof of my five storey building. I stood on the ledge. I wonder if that is enough. I don’t want to wake up in the hospital.
I do care. I do. I care so much I go all in, surrender every ounce of being to them.
They never do. They don’t care.
And I’m tired. Tired of being the only ones who pulls all the weight around here.
we all got suicide stories, some are sad some are really sad, mine just lame is the same ” i hate my parents suicide story” most people mean it when they say they hate their parents some just hate them when they’re mad. i do hate my parents, well, my mom and her husband. her husband makes my life miserable , he is always yelling at me, saying stupid stuff about me and my mom job is defending him, i hate that i hate they treat me like shit, its been like that for almost 8 years im done. I’ve tried taking my life away […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/08-Lost-Paradise.mp3
Hi guys, I’m Declan and obviously I’m new here and I thought I’d introduce myself:
I was born into a stable family. I have loving parents that care for me. Wanna know the weird thing? I’m unhappy. Mhmm, unhappy with life but I have parents who love me. That’s because I haven’t talked about my school life:
So skipping the cringeworthy moments I had in prep to grade 6. Grade 7 was when I began experiencing bullying. It was nothing physical, I used to get teased a lot because of my name. Now, one of my flaws as a human being is that  I won’t tell anyone […]
I just want to sleep, dreamless, for eternity.
My life is destroyed beyond repair due to actions and decisions I made while having bipolar episodes. My financial state is ruined because of mania and my academic/professional state is in tatters because of depression. I have wasted time, ignored my talents, and destroyed my opportunities.
I have been on countless medications, slogged through endless CBT appointments. Nothing is working. I have no hope left. I am a ruined, broken creature. I do not have it in myself to continue any longer.
I regret leaving behind those that care for me – especially my boyfriend and father. However, I cannot […]
I prayed for normal
Oh, how I prayed.
I was so young, and didn’t know that those didn’t actually work.
Given too much too young,
you can’t help.
I wish that this was simple enough for you to understand.
I wish that what I’ve already told you was it. Wouldn’t that be nice?
But there’s more, there’s so much more underneath my skin and on those cuts
I prayed for normal.
I’ve spent most of my life being suicidal. Every single day I wake up and wonder if it’s going to be my last. I exist in a dissociated haze or fog 99% of the time. I really hate my life. I don’t so much hate my job — I think I just hate doing anything that takes any effort… like I am just so thoroughly tired that I don’t give a shit enough to lift a finger for myself anymore. I just want to not work and wait for the credit card to run out and then kill myself.
Over the past seven years I’ve drifted […]
I didn’t mean to do it but i did and i am sorry. It hurts but it makes me forget. I am sorry i let my family down. I promised them i would not do it and i did, I thought i out grew it but i haven’t. I thought i was strong enough but i am not. I am sorry Love you Brice, hope you can forgive me.
What a fun site. The chance to share the most private of thoughts.
Where to begin…
By all accounts you would think that my life was perfect, or close enough. Very successful in my field, well-loved by my community, a fun set of hobbies, not in financial crisis. So what’s wrong?
I’ve always suffered from depression. Thoughts of suicide. My wife has been great at keeping me out of it. But over the years, she has grown so very distant. I don’t think she is cheating on me; it’s not in her personality. But these days she’s a roommate, nothing more. Intimacy has dried up to infrequent… and […]
Hi all
I’ve been debiliated by a very strong fear of people for years that got worse and worse and worse, this severe social phobia then caused depression, then panic attacks and agoraphobia. I’m now 24 and have nothing at all going for me. I can’t see any way out of my situation- yes depression plays a part in this, but my social phobia leaves me pretty much a selective mute who has been largely housebound for 5 years. I couldn’t finish education, I couldn’t work, I now have literally nothing on my CV, and even if my social phobia magically went away and I didn’t […]
There’s no reason big enough to end you life
There’s no heartache you won’t recover from
There is no past that you can’t overcome
There is no sadness that can drown you long enough
For you to come up gasping for breath
There is no obstacle big enough that you can’t jump over
There is no reason why you can’t lift the weight of the world from your shoulders
There is no plossible explanation to why you can’t remove suicide from your daily goal
There is no hurt that you’ve never experienced before
There is no girl or guy that can make you question your reason for living
Its your inner desire, that question your […]
I have never shared my story before,
I’m now 24, the 24 years of my life have been the worst, raised in a well off family I had my emotional needs neglected from an early age, suffered abuse from from my family and depression all through high school. Thinking back I can only remember feeling alone and afraid.
It wasn’t always bad, after finishing highI school, I worked full time for a few years, but I could tell something was missing, I had not and still to this day have not  had emotionally intimate relationships. I don’t know how to establish or maintain them, nor do I […]
I am breathing, but barely. Life was, “O-K”, for a while. And then…And then my life nosedived. My mental state went from being stable to barreling into the Mariana’s Trench. I ate, but the food had no taste. I drank, but nothing was cool enough. I saw but everything was in grayscale. I felt nothing. Not the wind in my face, nor the heat of the bath. I felt my heartbeat in my chest as if it were a taunting reminder of the cord that holds me to life.
Moving on in the night, I once gained a sense of comfort from cleaning; and so I […]
The note is complete. not really the best but its fine. but even now, when i am this close, i am not sure. its still looking like a hazy dream. David455 once asked here – “Is suicide romantic?” i can now definitely understand this question. but he went through the whole process. even now, when i can do it any day, its looking like a romantic idea.
I am not sure. Have i tried enough? ofcourse i have. there is no try left. being in the middle is a shitty situation. all you can do is rot. i do not suffer enough to do it without […]
1. silly- kids used it to bunk school,gf/bf ditched, no money, not beautiful body, lost/no  job, not enough money, not enough talent,…etc.
2. realism-allowing thoughts that most people will not dare to because they are intense, conflicts with survival. Â existential nihilism, Lost passion to do something. All human thing look like a foolish.
Which category are you belong to?
I don’t even know what this is anymore. I used to be able to feel the pain, but apparently, if you immerse yourself in enough pain, you eventually stop feeling it. And I’m starting to miss it. I don’t even know. Anything, I guess. I’m lost in the world, and I’m not really sure I want to fin my way again. This is all I’ve ever known, and I don’t know what life will be like if everything were perfect. Suicide isn’t a last resort anymore- it’s the only option. And I have no choice but to take it eventually.
I hate myself, I hate people, everything hurts. I don’t understand happy people. Even if someone is not a psycho, most people are assholes. Everything depresses me, the pills don’t work, the exercise doesn’t work, therapy doesn’t work. A 15 year old boy was raped in the bathroom of my local mall. You’d think a kid that age is safe to go alone to the bathroom. I read that two 12 year old girls stabbed another 12 year old girl 19 times. A man tried to sell his baby for $50. What the fuck is this shit hole? How can anyone be happy? Is everyone […]
So I started talking with a member of this community (well, a member of the unofficial side to this community, at the very least [shakinbakin]) and we were sharing tracks from our own soundcloud streams. Ended up getting the idea that we could combine his musical abilities with my spoken word poetry.
Whilst we were working on a new piece together, he started to mess around with one of the old pieces that I’ve posted here before, “There Once Lived A Man” so thought I’d share it here again, this time with the new arrangement.
Like always, the poem is posted below to help those that have […]
ill never be good enough, ill always just be a stupid crazy whale. like yesterday when i was walking down the street and someone yelled out “whale”! and i couldnt stop crying. my boyfriend treats me like shit , but thats probably because i am a piece of shit. im crazy. and i cant live with myself anymore. i dont know how to live anymore. i cant wait til i get the balls to just down all my meds at once.