Here I am sitting in front of a computer screen, having tears run down my cheeks. I just need to let this all out. I was born abroad and faced tons of bullying when I came to where I am now. Started in 2nd grade and it never ended in elementary or middle school. I never made much friends until Middle School. I was in a clique, were weren’t close; it was simply to gain an advantage over each other for selfish purposes like getting good grades. I saw everyone in a race, in a race of being the best in academics. I was smart, […]
Tag:
Essay
Feeling really lost at the moment.
I am currently studying for exams and doing my final essays for the year, the results i have gotten back have been great and usually when i get an A or A+ i can’t contain how happy i am, this excitement usually gives me energy for the next essay and so on.
However i have realised recently that i will never be happy with myself. And my life is not going to be better if i get good grades.
I can’t believe having good grades and excelling in school was a replacement so i didn’t have to face the reality that […]
“some gaddamn time…a man’s due t’ stop arguin’ with hisself. feelin’ he’s twice the gaddamn fool he knows he is….’cos he can’t be somethin’ he tries to be every gaddamn day without once gettin’ to dinner time and not fuckin’ it up….i don’t wanna fight it no more. understan’ me charlie? an’ i don’t want you pissin’ in my ear about it. can you let me go to hell the way i want to?”
—wild bill hickcock, deadwood.
that’s the second to last post on my facebook page. Â only one person got what i was saying. but it was only after another conversation that it […]
I spent most of today doing math homework with a girl from my class. Â I actually didn’t mind the math homework so much because at least it meant I got to socialize with someone. Â But it also depressed me. Â She kept getting messages on her phone from friends and several people she knew stopped to say hi to her as they walked to class. Â And then there’s me, for whom it’s unusual if I get more than a couple texts a week and all the social interactions I’ve had in the past 7 months can be counted on my hands. Â I miss Amber more […]