The last train comes in a few. I’m outside, my hands are turning blue. The blistering wind in my hair. So many voices in my head. None of them are telling me to stop anymore. I don’t care anymore. I’m comfortable with all of turmoil in my head. I’ve accomplished so much in my short life. Did everything I knew I could, though I had no help. Everything alone. I’m so so lonely. Maybe I should’ve did this sooner. Definitely. I guess I’ve finally succumbed to my loneliness. A symptom of loneliness is death, right? Is this going to hurt, those fleeting moments when death […]
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Final Goodbyes
I’ve been suicidal for many years and, to an extent, most of my life. Not a manic obvious case of suicide but a quite, calm and patient case. It was supposed to all happen tomorrow, Friday, July 26th 2013 but won’t.
I realized recently that my plan all this time was not the right way to go about things. The plan was to take my friend’s handgun and walk from his place to the nearby hospital. There I would warn the staff about the events that were going to take place, to prepare surgery for my organ donation, and to clear out the area so that […]
I’ve tried before to take my own life, I was 22. Many things had occurred through out my life at that point all of which had been coming to a boil, my button had been pushed, death was the only way to escape.  Some may find it cowardice, but not me, it’s my life, the things in my life are under my control, and at the time I felt I had lost control of everything. So I decided I was going to take control of something for once, it was one of the lowest days of my life. I was having issues finding work, the mother […]