Well, I don’t like to say the word “suicide” because it has always had negative connotations in my life. My family is comprised of a bunch of cold-hearted, sarcastic Argonauts with strong wills and drive, so we see suicide as pathetic. And the twist: I’ve felt suicidal since day one. The inner conflict of the way I was raised and the way I feel is certainly nothing short of overwhelming. I’ve always wanted different things from the people around me and consequentially I’ve felt stifled, suppressed, and unwelcome in my environment for years. I have very few friends, and the ones I do have I […]
Tag:
Flair
I’m not suicidal, but I used to be. I wish I knew five years ago what I know now, and I feel like I have to share it– So I’m sorry if this sounds preachy, because I really don’t mean for it to be.
When I was five my sister, Jen, killed herself with an intentional drug overdose. A decade later I was thinking about doing the same. I’d sit on the floor of my room every day after school and try to think of reasons not to end my life, with no luck. A couple of times I held a knife to my wrist, even […]
I met my husband 8-years ago, online, in a most conceivable place. My need to get away from the reality that surrounded my life led me into an unknown abyss inside the virtual world, that continues till today. I never asked for an ideal living but the constant fights between my parents were a bit too much for my 18 year old soul. I struggled with the yelling and screamings, petrified that they would someday lead to something far worse. Hiding my head under the pillow did not work for too long since afraid as I was of the fights the thought of not knowing […]