i swallowed twnty something benadryls and c lonazepams i was very dissapointed i woke up… any ideas dont own a gun so im not going there. I slit my wrists today but that just numbed me a little bit. also walked into on going traffic … jumped off a second floor building didnt work. can someone help me die?
Tag:
floor
Tears. Warm salty tears. I can’t hold them back anymore. I remember this feeling. This dark yet beautiful feeling of fear drifting away from my body. Seeing blood through my pain. As I lay in my bed of broken, sad bodies.. tears fill my eyes. Excusing myself from the souls laying still in bed..to go see tears break on the bathroom floor. I bring the razor to stain the white tile floor. To say hello to another tear in my fragile skin, and thank it for moving in. For it’s doing me a favor. Letting me suffer one more day. And one more night. Because tomorrow.. […]
So for starters, I’ve tried to commit suicide maybe half a dozen times. Through pills, a few vain attempts at cutting my wrists, which have left my arms embarrassing and cumbersome for finding work. I have been a cutter since I was 15, but those scars are hidden.
I used drugs for many years, meth, x, and shot coke for awhile. Well, I did it, I quit drugs. At 22, but than I started drinking. Real fun drinking, but managed to keep a job. When I didnt have a job, I drank all day and all night.
So I meet a man. Also an alcoholic. We moved […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Vibrations communicating the inner world of my soul
As it reaches out your ear runs towards the door.
Absorbed through the wood of the floor, muted by the rubber of your sole.
Dogs only see the food I have in my hand, but nevering caring when I fail.
Distractions are luxury I can never afford; when I can it’s always an empty shelf.
Let’s go for that walk, take us to remember the past, the place I broke the half filled glass.
Remind me of all those scars, down to every last shard, pick them up to reflect the moonless nights.
How long till I bleed out from a fragment I will […]
Glass marbles,
Spiraling over the floor,
Blue, green, red.
Some are retrieved
And put in a shiny jar.
Others fall down vents
Or collect dust under the sofa.
One is gulped down by the rat-haired dog.
My question: Do the prettiest marbles end up in the shiny jar?
sorry folks, tried again.having run out of time, with nowhere to go, and no way to exist, the desperation got the better of me.i remember blacking out. came to on floor, looking at the ex-wife. so beautiful. thought she was an angel. then it all came back. just another failure.i really do need to find a peacful way out. i cant take this anymore. their has got to be some peaceful way out?
The next step. I take the next step. Then have no energy. Where is the vessel of life? How do I refill it? The rent wall leaks to the floor all I pour in. The holidays are here. Time to live for others. No time to die. But I am so tired. So very tired.
Hello. You can call me M. I’ve never told my story honestly to anyone. But if you’re willing to listen to a bland rant, please stay.
My therapist is the closest to actually understanding me – not my dad, my mother, my grandmother, no one – but my therapist – we’ll call her K – she pried into my life and summarized me. Helped me. Listened. Laughed.
Ironically, I’m just a young client to her, a misguided, awkward teen. Nothing more. She’s an objective audience, untied by family biases.
And she’s indifferent, correct? She endures my little tales of woe and anxiety, etc, before dismissing me from her […]
It’s harmless right. I’m not bothering anyone. I wish I was dead. Life is a ****ing joke! This is so stupid, I am so stupid, life is so stupid. I have known for many years how I would die. By my own hand, hanging from a tree in Letchworth, with the tips of my toes lightly brushing the snow topped forest floor. No one will find me until spring when the hikers break, hunters aren’t allowed in the state park. I have always loved that place, it’s so spiritual. I just keep thinking of my body being defiled by him. I am just left in […]
Oh no. Here it comes. The darkness rolls over me like a summer storm over the meadow. I’m surrounded and I have no where to do. I am paralyzed with no direction. Panic sets in and I can’t breathe. I can’t see. I’m completely hindered. What do I do? The knife. Get the knife.
No! Don’t get the knife. Splitting seams won’t solve anything.
It’ll calm me down! I’ll have something to focus on. The pain is a dull ache that comes in waves like the ocean tide over sand. I’m drowning and I need something stable. Something sane.
Cutting gets you no where but a lot of […]
When is it ever going to stop?
The images of my body hanging in my room or my wrists cut and blood all over the floor or the glass shards from the window I broke. I want it to stop. I want to stop and I don’t want it to stop.
I want the end the thing that I started. I want to get over this life. I don’t want to exist. I have no purpose and I’m selfish. I don’t care who feels bad. I know they’ll get over it. I don’t want to be born again in a world full of hatred and horror. I […]
1 cut
2 cut
3 cut
4..
the blood is dripping from my wrist to the bottom of the tub.
5 cut
6 cut
7 cut
8..
the blood is now dripping from the tub to the floor.
9 cut
10…
Your out of lives.. RIP for those who have lost all self confidence and have chosen the easy way out by cutting themselves <3
God I just wish this pain would go away. I actually slept a little today since I haven’t been sleeping at all the past couple weeks and then cleaned the house a bit to keep my mind off how much I want to die. I was doing good and then my PTSD hit fast and hard. I dropped the dish I was holding and it shattered on the floor as I crumpled into a ball. As the memories flooded my mind like a bad nightmare, I was shaking uncontrollably and had a hard time breathing. I was left with a new anger all over again […]
I’ve explained it over and over and over again, but I guess I’ll do it again.
I messaged my best friends ex last night, just to talk, and we were all close, and have been through shit. and every time i would say something he’d just say “bye” but after she messaged him, he started being nice to me and talking to me. For some reason it made me feel like complete shit. Like i didn’t matter, until she mattered. I felt worthless. I started crying, and ended up having an anxiety attack.
I was holding that blade so close to my skin, telling myself […]
everyday is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same
by death bunny
written by death bunny
i’m stuck between the floor and the ceiling in my room, surrounded by the ghosts of my past. some say mean things, some are crying and some don’t speak at all. but i can see them. one is standing by the door, blocking my way out. he never speaks. one is lying on the floor dead drunk. one is standing behind me. he split his head so he could whisper to both of my ears.
one is crying in the corner. one is screaming. one is sleeping. one is tearing up my paintings. one is burning up my poems.
none intend to stop.
i go to […]
1 became 2, then 2 to 4. 1 cut every time my heart fell to the floor.
4 became 5, then 5 to 8. 1 cut every time I’ve experienced self-hate.
8 became 9, then 9 to 11. 1 cut every time I wish I was in Heaven.
11 became 12, then 12 to 16. 1 cut every time they were ever mean.
16 became 17, then 17 to 21. 1 last cut before my life was done.
1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut, 4.
Loss of blood, my mind began to flood, as my life went on no more.
Self-Harm is like a drug […]
Older Posts