I’m slipping back into depression. For the first time in months I deliberately took a razor to skin and edged it in. The familiar slice and twinge offered a precious moment free of the past that haunts me. It felt so GOOD. So tremendously good. My wrist is aching for a gash right now, but I can’t. My wrists are clean. Under my clothes isn’t so pure. It’s the only thing that offers freedom from pain, and I can only imagine that deeper cuts and a tub of warm water would offer all the more bliss. I can’t. I can’t kill myself, can’t and won’t. […]
Tag:
Freedom From Pain
It is scary, that I use to find comfort in the idead of being able to die, well, no, kill myself. But now, I am able to find comfort that I am going to work, save up money, and just leave this city, this state, this country and move somewhere else. Just leave everything, all this mess. No one will be able to follow me. No one will be able to find me. I will start fresh, somewhere new. Somewhere else…
I hope everyone is doing good and find their freedom from pain, just not through death. Not through death.