When I started high school I was a normal girl, I liked to laugh and make people laugh, I was loud but it wasn’t an obnoxious loud I just spoke my mind. But I started high school in a small town where everyone knew everyone and they didn’t accept outsiders, I was the outsider. I got bullied every day, by second semester I was tired of it. I felt bad for being weak under the pressure, so that made me feel worse. IÂ was always very insecure about my weight but it got worse in ninth grade, I took handfuls of diet pills everyday. I started […]
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Handfuls
Has anyone else ever taken an Ambien? One pill knocks me out within 15 minutes. That’s not the interesting part. The interesting part is that it wipes out all memory for those few minutes leading up to unconsciousness.
I know it would take at least 1000 pills to kill me, so that’s not what I’m posting about. But something about those few minutes of blackout is interesting. People who have seen me on ambien say i just lie down and I’m out cold, no amout of noise or shaking can get through.
What if, for example, I were to take a dozen pills and then go swimming […]
I’m a freshmen in college-Best time of my life, right? Here’s what I have accomplished, failing classes, attempting suicide, countless anxiety attacks, depression and a stay at a mental ward for a week.
Yeah, I tried to kill myself-I took…I don’t even remember how many handfuls of Tylenol. For awhile, the pills took away the pains I felt from either depression or the anxiety. I couldn’t feel anything. I banged my head against the wall-Nothing. I kept taking them, my heart was either beating too fast or too slow, I couldn’t tell which though. I got in the shower with my clothes on and just laid there. I was […]
I’ve tried before to take my own life, I was 22. Many things had occurred through out my life at that point all of which had been coming to a boil, my button had been pushed, death was the only way to escape.  Some may find it cowardice, but not me, it’s my life, the things in my life are under my control, and at the time I felt I had lost control of everything. So I decided I was going to take control of something for once, it was one of the lowest days of my life. I was having issues finding work, the mother […]
I, am a suicide survivor. I know not everyone will believe my story, like I know, but I do ask you to listen to me. I was there.
On a late winter night (seven years ago) I found myself homeless. After SEVERAL suicide “attempts’ (not too too serious ones) I made up my mind, that this was it. I was Agnostic/Atheist. I wasn’t sure what I believed, yet. I later that night found myself living with a group of drug addicts, not very pleasant. So, I took my razor from my wallet and sliced into my arm, repeatedly. I ate only handfuls of aspirin, and one […]