My dog is the ultimate homie. I often wonder if anyone enjoys my company as much as him. Anyday, anytime he’s pumped to see me except for a few times when i got pissed as all hell at him for running away. I can’t blame him though I feel the same most of the time. Thinking of running away is often the only thing that gets my blood bumping. The farther I imagine myself from here the harder my heart beats. I feel alive. I just want to fade away, never to return. I’d like to head down to patagonia and surf one of the […]
Tag:
Heart Beats
i love to hear the sound of your pain
i love the feel of the blood in your veins
your heart beats at an elevated rate
do you think you can escape?
inside these walls i rein supreme
i can torture you in any way i dream
its not so different from what you did to me
so mother fucker i want to hear you scream!!!!!
you beat me and hurt me
you twisted and turned me
i was your pawn and now im king
so fight the matador in his ring
whats that you say?
your sorry?
a little late for a sob story
I gave up something that made me live
My heart it beats in tiny tiny pieces
I hope you know that I can’t give you all of it
I never understood how people felt better after self harming themselves. I didn’t understand how pain could make one feel better. Even though I’ve been so depressed I always told myself I would never hurt myself.
Lately I’ve felt on edge, and just an hour ago I couldn’t take it. Whenever I feel like I can’t take anymore, I imagine myself running away or scratching/ripping my face off. I will usually end up scratching my face a bit but today I felt like I was going absolutley crazy just keeping all this in and none of it getting better. I started pulling my hair and violently scratching […]
As you can tell by my new post I didn’t hang myself!! I went and talked to my aunt and she is going to help out. My son and I will be moving into her garage apartment this weekend which is a huge help because she is only going to charge me $200 a month for rent and food! She called her church and tonight I got a huge bag of clothes for Broox!!! Little man is styling in his new batman pjs as we speak.
As I’m writing this Broox is laying beside me sleeping with his little legs thrown over onto mine and I […]
Sometimes, my depression keeps me up for hours at night.
When this happens, I roll around, trying a bunch of positions, until I find one where I can feel my heart beating.
What I do is, every time my heart beats, I imagine being stabbed in the chest. With every beat, destroying what I hate.
Stab.
Stab.
Stab.
Until I’m dead.
….Then in the morning, I wake up and sob.
Hold back your teardrops
Don’t cry on me
I can’t be so numb with you here
My emotions rise up insensibly
Understand that I’m gone
I’m dead but my heart still beats
And my lungs still breath
Understand that Death has won
Don’t care for me
I can’t be saved
Don’t ruin yourself over me
You can’t reach me beyond this grave
I hate to see you suffer
The one person I would live for
But it’s too late
If only you’d come four years earlier
Then we could have shown the world
We could have beat the odds
We would have owned the world
They would have been […]