I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t feel like I have control over my body anymore. I don’t feel like I have control over anything. I want to cry…scream, shout. Something…I have all of this…this emotion built up inside of me and each one wants to get out. One minute I’m happy and the next I’m enraged. I’m sad and frustrated. I want company and I want to be left the fuck alone. I need to talk and yet, I need to shut up all together as well. I just need to stop existing for a while until I can get a hold of myself. I am so out of control, I don’t know what to do.
I have no one I can talk to. All of my friends have since abandoned me or simply don’t care unless they need something. I’ve never felt more lonely and alone in my life. I’ve lost myself in the darkness and I have no way 0ut. I feel a sadness I’ve never felt before. I need help or I will be lost forever.
Ugh! I can’t even write a cohesive, coherent piece on how i’m feeling! I want these pains and feelings to stop! I want them to go away and to never return and at the same time, I am terrified for the feelings to leave because they are all I know. Death is not swift. It’s slow and torturous and it cares not when it arrives to take it’s victim.