ive wanted to die for many years, but now that im coming towards my demise I cant help wonder why I keep procrastinating the inevitable. I have court on the 16th for a DUI which has already turned my unlivable life into a complete hell. It started by losing my brother to suicide 4 years ago (I was suicidal way before that, about 12 year). then IÂ managed to move on and live a somewhat decent life until I met “her”. the love of my life that I am still in love with 6 months after we split and she moved away. I never wanted kids […]
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Hell Of A Life
Maybe I don’t know who I really am. I catch myself contradicting myself a lot when I think. I’m trying to figure this hell of a life out, so maybe things will get better. Maybe I just want to understand how everything works. But there’s never going to anyone who knows everything about everything else, especially life. Life doesn’t mean that much and it isn’t that great sometimes, But is it worth it to even stay around just to see what the future holds?
My life all went down hill when i was 13. My dad married my stepmother and she looked at me if I was cinderella. I was told to do everything in the house and when I was finished I was sent to my room. About that time is when I started writing in my Journals and just giving up in life. When I turned 14 on my birthday my dad and I got in a huge fight. He blamed everyones problems on me and he told me hes going to kill himself because of me. That day is when I tried killing myself for the […]