every day i hope it will get better. i am an IV heroin user struggling with an addiction much stronger than i thought. i am in tons of trouble with the law. i just violated my probation. i hope that my next shot will be the last. or i hope that i can be strong enough to be the man i have to be and face the time i have over my head and stop running from my problems every day.
i lost the love of my life in march and ever since then my life has been all down hill. i’m a broken man, and […]
I seem to stumble on this website at the oddest hours of night.Â
It’s only 4:43AM, and I can’t sleep. This is a self induced insomnia. For the first time in ages I scored Adderall and I felt like myself this evening. All good things come to an end, I’m facing the enviable come down. Maybe it’s my brain reeling from the dopamine flood it just endured. I’ve just gotten to thinking that being a depressed addict is probably one of the worst illnesses in the world. Use to live, and when the dope runs out, curl up and die.
It makes me nostalgic. I miss when […]
funny thing is, i survived six years of heroin addiction. i think i miss the pain of the needle going in more than the opiates hitting my brain. something about pain and pleasure being inexorably tied together that makes one less real without the other. Was listening to Trent Reznor’s Hurt earlier and was struck by the truth of the lyrics
i hurt myself today….to see if i still feel….i focus on the pain….the only thing thats real
if i could start again….a million miles away…i would keep myself….i would find a way
it gives me a strange sense of comfort to think that after the deed is […]
my name is matt, I live in new jersey. i started off with depression when i was 3. at that time my father began beating me i would estimate once a week, as well as my father having somewhat severe fights with my mother which often hurt me because she would be emotionally unavailable and I obviously was very distant from my father which made me feel alone. this feeling of being alone has always embodied me. i now am 19. i started off in middle school acting out and made a lot of “friends” but got myself in a lot of trouble just because […]
Check out my blog of journal entries threw my struggles with depression anxiety along with heroin addiction to try and stop the pain. I keep my journal raw and for all to see . No one in this forum is alone !!
Http://www.jlb462606.blogspot.com
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