I’m so toxic in a relationship
Why am I ruining something so great?
I’m so fucking stupid and shitty.
Why can’t I make someone happy?
I’m so unreliable hahaha
I know I’m not wanted, I know I’m not loved, I know I’m a fuck up, I know that I’m stupid, I know that I’m ugly, I know that I’m fat, I know I’m imperfect, I know what I am you don’t have to say it, I know I’ll never be good enough you don’t need to shout it, I know I’ll never be like you guys…. So popular and cool, With guys that fall at their feet, And worship the ground they walk on, I wish I could be like you, I know that I can’t be you, And I’ll accept it,
I just want to be someone else, A social butterfly, That’s skinny and pretty and loved by everyone, With not a problem in the world, But all I have is problem after problem, I screw up everything, And push people away, I always get rejected, And nobody really wants me for me, Except for maybe a few people, But can I accept it? Can I believe it? Do I want to, Yes…
I just want the pain to stop, I want it all to fade away, I want to stay happy for my Boyfriend, But I don’t know if I can, I love him but I don’t want to drag him into the darkness with me,
I want to die, I want to cut, I want my life to end, I want to be pretty, I want to be smart, I want to be skinny, I want to be loved, I know deep down that I am, But can’t accept it still, I want to believe it, I want to accept it, I need help but won’t seek it out, Because I don’t want others to know my pain, I don’t want their pity, I don’t need their sympathy, I don’t want to talk, But I want to tell them everything, I’m a fucking big ass contradiction, And I don’t even understand myself,
I don’t want to be here, And yet I want to stay for the ones I love, I’m not living for myself, I only live for others, That’s the only way I know how to be, I don’t know how to live for myself anymore, I’m not really living , Just floating through life, Never really enjoying anything, I loved a girl once, And I messed up, I want her back, Just as a best friend again, Because it’s hard with out her in my life, I miss her and I know she hates me, But I love her still, Kill me please, Put me out of my misery, Cut my wrists vertically, And draw on them with silver, Then turn my wrists RED, It’s fucking MAGIC…… FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY!!!