In my mid 40s old, have lead a charmed life at times, always looking for the thing that would make me happy. Bottomline nothing can make anyone happy it comes from within. So how do you do that when the weight of the world and the consequences of poor choices and actions culminate into one gigantic crushing smoothering ball and chain. Reality becomes blurred and all you want to do is check out. My children and the fear of death and HELL up to this point keep me from doing the worst however as they are several states away and thier Mother is awaiting me […]
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