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in the

I need this all to end

by nozmoking 6/1/2014

written by nozmoking

I posted last week about repeatedly falling out of bed a few days earlier and ending up in the E.R. with respiratory failure from some type ofÂ Pneumonia. Fucked as my luck runs a few days later I was released to home care and cleared to go back to work.Â Of course I am far weaker than before the incident and my usual level of physical pain is now at least twice as intense as it was before.

I could barely do my job as it was. It takes me nearly two hours to get out of bed and dress for work – God only knows […]

6/1/2014 4 comments

The beauty of the world is beyond comprehension

by LovingLife 5/31/2014

written by LovingLife

Theme song from a show called Madventures.

Wish I could have seen the world even a 1 percent of what these guys have – and lived my life to the fullest while I still had the time. Really have to give a salute to Riku and Tunna. 🙂 Love the show, and it had for a few years kept me hoping to be in their shoes; exploring places, seeing other cultures and people – but no more.

The best travelling documentary program in the world by far – Finnish, but at least 3th season spoken in English – distributed all over the world though.

Theme song gets me […]

5/31/2014 2 comments

Really stupid reasons

by Magnus 5/31/2014

written by Magnus

So I think the one thing I am proudest of is how much of a geek i am (LARP D&D video games etc…) heres the thing i havnt had the time to attend any of my games lately because of real life responsibilities

To get a feeling for me as a person im 25 i live with a super good looking girl who i somehow convinced to date me a few years ago and i just started a great job that is allowing me to get out of the factories ive worked in since i was 17… but because I dont have time to go to […]

5/31/2014 1 comment

Lost

by Chevaleer 5/31/2014

written by Chevaleer

This is the first time I’ve posted on this site, having discovered it only a few days ago.Â Well, posting for myself, anyway, because I’ve actually given shout outs to a couple of other people that I hoped could take the words to heart.Â But I continue to wear my mask, even here, in the presence of those who’d likely accept me without it.Â But, truth be told, I wear it around friends and family that I’d gleefully step in front of a bullet for, so it’s not entirely surprising to me.

I’ve felt the urgings of suicide for the better part of the last 25 […]

5/31/2014 1 comment

The start after the end

by ClosedWounds 5/30/2014

written by ClosedWounds

This is my first post so hey,

Imagery is a weird thing isn’t it?

Since I was 13 I’ve had that sort of ya know emoish look about me, listened to the music, wore the eyeliner, all that sort of stuff. At that time people couldve somehow assumed, because of this “image”, that I was rebellious, depressed and suicidal. But what’s ironic is at that time when I was going through that sort of “phase” none of that applied to me in the slightest. You could say I was one of the most friendliest, world loving emos our there aha.

I was “a goth” before my dad got […]

5/30/2014 3 comments

The way to go

by nias 5/30/2014

written by nias

Spent far too long thinking about it, it must be time soon; I used to believe drowning was the way, I used to live by the sea; there were a couple of navigation buoys out across the bay with flashing red lights on them which were out of sync but would flash in unison occasionally, I spent a long time at night sitting on the pier watching them wishing I had the courage to jump into the cold inviting water and die. I’m not there now, in the city instead, suppose there’s the Thames but somehow it’s not the same, there’d be a crowd watching […]

5/30/2014 0 comment

naloldaroll. Tomorrow, I’m going to the vitamin shop.

by Bisban 5/30/2014

written by Bisban

The neon stars, and planet.
We are so small, yet, the master work of this epic universe.
When we are content, we are happy to die.
What about those that …
I only know of me of my kind. My cerebro morlock race.
Don’t forsaken nobody, the sound of the ukulele.

Acidic. Acidic. I am the dark Molorck.
In my robe darkness, a bolero dying entity.
The skeleton and the dying tree. My chain.
In the world of cain. Holistic to the death.
What the fuck are you doing. Man.
In this reality, you can’t go back in time.

One more time, to infinity to the end.

5/30/2014 1 comment

by deadlynights 5/30/2014

written by deadlynights

it feels weird being back on this website, but Im back to the place where i need it.
i guess a little update on my life then, although Im pretty sure nobody cares.
lately, like in the past month or so, Ive been more depressed than i ever have been in my whole entire life. even though Im living at my dads now, which is everything i wanted, it still didnt fix anything. i pushed away all my friends and family and i just sit in my room all day watching YouTube videos. I cant even think about the future anymore, even though everyone […]

5/30/2014 4 comments

How Would You Do It

by rach 5/30/2014

written by rach

What options for death really are there for profound disabled like myself?Â I can’t get a gun, can’t get in a car and go somewhere, and hanging never fails to fail.Â The only thing I was suggested by “professionals” was, if you want to die, you can, you just have to stop eating and drinking completely.Â Number one, what an inhumane way to go!Â I cannot imagine depriving myself of water until I am dead.Â That is barbaric.Â Number two, most of us disabled are in the care of family members who would force feed us.Â So this is clearly not an option.Â Also most […]

5/30/2014 8 comments

Happiness is just on pull of a trigger away

by nvrlivedaday 5/29/2014

written by nvrlivedaday

Why can’t god just take my life already? Iv been through hell my whole life a and once I kill myself I’m gonna go to hell for one of the biggest sins someone can do. I just hope god has Mercy on me when I Â kill myself. I have a pistol with no safety on it and I always have one in the chamber I always point my gun to my head and play with the trigger hoping I accidently pull the trigger all the way and die 🙂 isn’t it sad that the only thing that puts a real smile on my face is […]

5/29/2014 0 comment

Demise. nature // x echo

by Bisban 5/29/2014

written by Bisban

The code of blue and the iron code. The word Mankind.
Devoured by the fire and the monster.
The monster, that is you.
An organism dying spawn, I am, of your vein. You have no name.
You are less than a man, equal less than zero.
The world equals oblivion. In my heart of jewel evolution.
Hades, is our God of the World. Grey falling Hades.
Here in the belly, I’ve turned into a beast.
A beast of hell, a monstrous chain. I am here to conquer the world.
To destroy Lucifer behind my acidic breath.
Man. The world. A part of me that’s dying.

5/29/2014 0 comment

Here’s some thoughts for the lone and sad travelers.

by LovingLife 5/28/2014

written by LovingLife

It just hit me when I was reading one of the posts. Remembered this speech by Samwais Gamgee to Frodo in
Lotr: The Two Towers. Now that if something probably touches everyone in at least some way. A new day will come.

Frodo: I can’t do this Sam

Sam: I know
It’s All Wrong
By rights we shouldn’t even be here.
But we are.

It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo.
The ones that really mattered.
Full of darkness and danger, they were.
And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end.
Because how could the end be happy?
How could the world go back to the […]

5/28/2014 2 comments

at the end, don’t forget…. the trumpet. The volks wagon trip

by Bisban 5/28/2014

written by Bisban

I’m the dying guru guy. A skeleton would have been more exquisite.
A leaf blunt in my mouth. These rotting depths, Seraphim pray for me.
I have never done wrong. In the art of dying. Can you be a next door.
In my labyrinth. Brone, drive me … a little to the east. Set up camp in the land.
I can find a way. This can be, our ground zero. I’m the rotting celibacy dude.
Be a man. And come see me. I’m the dying guru dude.
Be the dude, and come see me.
Haha.

First, we need to crack my egg back to life. There’s […]

5/28/2014 1 comment

Does it ever end?

by krelians desire 5/27/2014

written by krelians desire

I have read some of these posts and I identify with you all and I truly feel for you all. Many of these posts mention regretful and hurtful actions committed in the past. But what if you haven’t done any of these things and still continue to suffer daily? What if you are the guy who got straight A’s? What if you are the guy who is always loyal and decent to everyone? What if you have never done any drugs? What if are 31 years old and have never had one real friend? What if you live a completely healthy lifestyle, but continue to […]

5/27/2014 0 comment

Pending…

by Jaye 5/27/2014

written by Jaye

Well I think I’ve finally reached that point.
I’ve been waiting and waiting for the chance to speak to you, to clear the air, to try and mend this broken thing you left.
The pain is utterly unbearable. It is consuming me, erasing anything that was left of who I am.
Now I am just pain and god it hurts so much and it just won’t stop.
I dread going to sleep because the dreams are so painful; in them you forgive me and we are happy again and it’s like I am made of air.
I dread waking up because the pain is instantaneous; […]

5/27/2014 0 comment

205 pills

by nobodyoranybody 5/27/2014

written by nobodyoranybody

today i sat on my bed with 205 pills lying in front of me. all a combination of my daily meds. i figured if i took them all i’d probably die. i thought about which would be the easiest to swallow first. i sat for about 30 minutes with my death centimeters away. there were so many thoughts going through my head but one that kept repeating was “you wont fucking do it.” I figured there was a slight chance i could make it but i knew i’d have to get my stomach pumped. so i went on google to see how long i’d be […]

5/27/2014 3 comments

Discussions

by FordPrefect42 5/26/2014

written by FordPrefect42

Does anyone happen to know of a forum or chat site where we can discuss methods openly? I’m trying to figure out a way that’ll be relativelyÂ painless and not cause much of a mess. I’d like very much to go out in the comfort of my own home but without ruining the upholstery, and if it looks accidental then so much the better 🙂

5/26/2014 0 comment

Her Story

by Runner 5/26/2014

written by Runner

Alone with her thoughts

Alone in her room

Little did she know

Her story would end soon

No more sadness

No more pain

No more purging

To stop the gain

She sees her body

She hates each mark

Can’t stand the sight

So she lays in the dark

She cries in the night

And finds her blade

She thinks of every

Mistake she’s made

She begins to think

She’s better off dead

The thought of being

Rushes through her head

She grabbed some pills

And a small red cup

She wanted to fall asleep

And never wake up

Empty the bottle

Down each pill

Soon she will be

Forever still

She was sad to go

But it was for the best

She got what she wanted

Eternal rest

5/26/2014 3 comments

Fish out of water

by Stain 5/26/2014

written by Stain

Pain, fear, hardship and all those crappy things are the greatest motivators known to any living organism. If you think back to the first prehistoric mass of slime that crawled out of the ocean onto dry land to evolve into what you see when you look into a mirror, you can bet the slime’s motivation wasn’t any lofty idealism or optimistic dreams of the future but rather, its motivation was because it was hunted or starving to death and had to go somewhere new.

That’s all fine & dandy. But even the prehistoric slime must’ve eventually reached some comfort zone, or at least some stage of […]

5/26/2014 1 comment

Fear

by someonelikeyouknew 5/25/2014

written by someonelikeyouknew

It’s hard to imagine after a month of this calm, now that the time has come, I can feel so afraid. Standing at the edge like this, I get it. My suicide is not impulsive. It has been carefully planned. A promise to myself I’ve been making for a year. I will be gone by June. The time has come. I’m in my last week and staring death in the face, I feel this anxiety. But then I think of living, just one extra day past my promise, and the panic is just as great. The guilt, oh the guilt. I’m so sorry for them. […]

5/25/2014 1 comment

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