I don’t want to die. I want to be happy. I want to be normal. I want to be fulfilled. But I don’t think I can be.
So instead, I’m this poisonous, negative force. Because I can’t be happy, I want everyone else to be unhappy as well. I want to drag them down to my level, so I don’t feel so jealous and inferior.
I think maybe it would be better if I was dead. I don’t think I have it in me to come to terms with how much I’ve fucked up my life. And I can’t see any way to really live a fulfilling […]
I don’t know why I let myself fail to the point that I do. I know I can put more effort into bettering my life but every time I try putting forth any effort I am only met by failure and worthlessness. I am unable to even comply with basic day to day situations sometimes and I need to trudge through it knowing that it is only me myself who is keeping me back. I’m being pushed through a hole of the wrong shape to fit in with everything so extremely fake around me, yet had this been a different world my inferiority would have […]
2. Year college student. Finished my first year with straight A’s. Got completely burntout.
This triggered a major depression. Have had issues since i was 12- 13. Anxiety disorders, OCD, depression, suicidal thoughts. Also suffering from existential angst. Also inferiority complex and self-loathing
Also have some love-related issues
I seem to be way too exhausted to get good grades this term. The semester just started sso i have the opportunity to take take a half-year leave to recover. In the future however i would just take that as a token of how a massive failure i am. Also i feel that everyone would despise me over something […]
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