I don’t want to die, but I can’t live like this. A year ago I had a head injury. It was just a mild concussion, and I was expected to make a full recovery. Then, the unthinkable happened: before I recovered, I got another concussion, and a neck injury. This set off a cascade of unfortunate events that have taken almost every aspect of my life away from me. I can’t work, can’t sleep, can barely walk, can’t sit for more than a few minutes due to pain, and feel like I am slowly losing control over my arms and legs. Over time, things have […]
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Injury
Right now, my coping mechanisms are overeat, drink, pray to God that I don’t wake up when I finally get to sleep, and the best so far is rationalizing suicide and coming up with an exit plan. Work doesn’t want me anymore, so I’m not even productive. With a Plan B, it is extremely relieving to finally have SOME control over what is going on with my body. That’s my best coping mechanism.
Does anyone have better ideas for coping?
So, what happened… Thursday night, I downed a bottle of medicine, because someone three fries short of a happy meal wrote on a website that “liquid is absorbed faster than pills.†So I thought… I die faster, and I fall asleep before I suffer. So much for that idea…
Obviously, my plan didn’t work. I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything, though. I downed it, and my heart was pounding, to the point that I just knew I was going to die. So I laid down in bed, pulled the covers over my head, turned on Relient K, and tried to go to […]