I haven’t been on this site for two and a half years and yet here I am back again. Folks around me say it’s a testament to my strength that I’ve made it this far, but I say it’s a wonderful combination of cowardice and my old friend Jack. I don’t really know what I wanted to say here but I just needed to say something somewhere to someone. A lot of the time it’s the silence that gets to me, albeit I bring that silence upon myself. Nobody to talk to about this stuff, nobody that really honestly wants to hear what I think. […]
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Jack
Do you ever find yourself writing letters that you’ll never send? I don’t mean actual pen and paper letters, like maybe written down on your computer or as a draft in your inbox?
I’m doing it more often these days.
I write letters to everyone. Family. Friends. And you.
I think if I went I’d want them to be delivered to people. They are my essence. My everything. I don’t know any kind of post mortem delivery system for the suicidal though.
I find myself staring at the belt more and more. Nothing special. An old brown leather belt. It holds my weight, I’ve checked. So does the bed […]
You know when somebody says “You shouldn’t be around people who make you unhappy.” There’s only one person that makes me unhappy, and that’s my mom. The worst part is I am forced to be around her. She is emotionally abusive and she claims that she has never said anything bad to me. She says I’m a *****, a drama queen, that I’m crazy, and she hopes I run away. She is the reason i cry so much. I’ve suffered from depression since I was 8, and my mom has always belittled me about it. My older brother at the age of 7 had a […]