I wish the stars would shine the way they did when you and I were one. The world seems lonely now, the nights are filled with silence. There is an emptiness all around me. The skies are darker now, the nights are longer now. In the silence I strain to hear your voice again but all there is, is darkness. The night grows cold, the flames we kindled are no more. You were the light that lit the skies, that filled my heart with joy. You made the stars shine brighter, you gave the night a warmer glow. I wish the nights were ours again, […]
Tag:
light
I just had a friend tell me that it takes on average 3-6 months for someone to get a new job. I was fired on November 20th and have been on 11+ interviews with only one offer and it was for something I didn’t feel safe doing. I’m not even having the suicidal car crash fantasies but I ache right now. I see a therapist in about a week for an intake appointment and then maybe in a month I’d see a new psychiatrist for a med adjustment, but I know I need to go to the hospital. I just promised my husband that I’d […]
This isn’t anything special. It’s just a poem I wrote at 5 am. Even though it’s not that great, it describes my inner turmoil.
I want to talk about this pain,
That I’ve felt was always in vain,
Do you really not see,
What’s become of me?
On silent nights,
I always fight,
As tears run down my eyes,
Each teardrop breaking my ties,
My ties with this world,
As I am hurled,
Into this insanity,
Which will never set me free.
My teardrops slowly become red,
Food for the blade that I’ve fed.
They tell me that all will be well,
While I slowly rot away in this hell,
Could they not tell […]
Possible more darkness in my tunnel. Is there even any light anymore?
by BrokenAngel8
written by BrokenAngel8
2 years ago if you would of asked me I would of said something similar to that i felt like the happiest and luckiest girl in the world to be his. Now all I just feel is broken, hurt, betrayed and confused. I feel betrayed by what he said about me behind my back a few weeks ago.
I knew we had issues in our relationship I thoguht we were both strong enough to get through it but I guess I was dead wrong. Instead of confronting me about how you felt you t alked behind my back about it its bad enough that i found […]
This is a link to an episode of The Fifth Estate documenting the story of Nadia Kajouji, who was encouraged to commit suicide by a man posing as a female nurse online in 2008. This was quite a landmark legal case, as it brought to light the culpability of those who attempt to persuade others to take their lives over the Internet. As a true crime enthusiast and (obviously) someone who considers suicide and depression to be a major part of their life, I have found this to be one of the most fascinating cases I’ve seen in some time.
If you aren’t into true crime documentaries, this may not […]
and in this life never did I see so much hurt and pain. As a child I was attracted to the light to the happiness but as I grew older and realized that you can’t plan life that little dream of mine grew distant and blurry I knew that I’d have to runaway to find this dream of mine. My dream house grew colder day by day and suddenly i was no longer attracted to the light. Happiness made me uncomfortable I knew how quickly it could all end. I felt company with the darkness being happy felt lonely. We are told so many stories […]
I know there’s nothing I can say to the image left inside you.. when brilliant light decides to shine through..the dark illuminates behind truth..
And you can leave it all behind you..settle for a life I lied to make myself to seem above cruel intentions for a failed youth..
And i can see it leaves a fever.. my faith will make me a believer.. burning every time I see her put her hands together just to pray for me..
There are many fears unspoken.. more than many bones unbroken.. try to close me when I’m open..but i shed a light to see..
But you won’t see me […]
Welcome to your life
There’s no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you
Acting on your best behavior
Turn your back on mother nature
Everybody wants to rule the world
It’s my own design
It’s my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
There’s a room where the light won’t find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I’ll be right behind you
I got sucked in. The darkness took over and when it takes over it drowns you and pulls you away so that you can no longer see the light. No one sleeps in the dark we stay awake and let our thoughts take us away to endless possibilities and the only way we feel greatness is to pour another drink and provoke trouble because trouble is the only thing we can feel. I got sucked in.
Sometimes I’m so tired. I can’t focus my eyes. I barely sleep. My days are a chain of endless blurs. I don’t remember much. I smoke because it makes me feel tough like a soldier fighting a war. Every moment is a battle. It is sometimes perforated by bits of light or a funny moment. I cling to it as it fades and slips through my fingers like the vapor of something once solid.
I fell like I’m walking down a long dark hallway….feeling the walls trying to find the light….searching and searching….never being able to find it….the hallway goes on forever…..never ending but always dark…..sometimes I feel like I’ve found it…a way out…..a door that escapes from the long dark halls….but someone or something keeps pulling me back in…..I’m a prisoner to these dark halls….waiting and waiting for a way out….
How To change what I feel?
How to grow better and become a strong person?
How to get out of my stressful mind?
Sometimes I wish I could make peace with myself, but sometimes it’s so difficult to stop thinking.
There are so many wrong things, and sometimes it’s like I cannot bare them.
I am afraid to share my deepest feelings, even under an anonymous name.
I am afraid of my own feelings
I don’t know how to control my nostalgic feeling inside my heart.
Sometimes I think that after death, you just go home to some kind of warm light, to some kind of warm […]
Darn, lost a full poem, battery-outty
In a cold shell, touching the light
I hide, abyss, holy golden knight
Where is to the temple, who is the link
To the fountain, how do we go
Or I do keep falling, falling
Only me that’s drowning, to the death
I am, an undead, the Morlocks, Leech
Pirate, iron-mask, le celibatar
Brother, and sister, enfant de la mort
On a cold, dark night
I can always count
On burning bridges
To provide me light
…I’m giving up on you.
Tonight feels right. My heart is heavy, but this gun feels so light. Tonight is right.
Goodbye.
Wandering alone at night..
..If this is where you are supposed to be
The crying..
.. the pain
Is this all worth it..
.. Having to hold & cry yourself to sleep
Where is the light..
.. in this dark and lonely planet
Greetings, people.
Here I am again. After months of inactivity and facing the world I’ve found that I’ve wound up on this site again. I thought that I might have been able to focus on work and get my head off from my own negativity. But it never works. Time and time again I find myself coming back to the same conclusion – I have nothing to live for. Others might have people who love them, or a lifelong passion, or an unfulfilled wish. It might just be true that I have given up on life itself, and my contemplating of it only furthers my sorrow. […]
Why did they choose white.
I can’t even sit in a new, freshly “neutral” white painted. apartment for 5 minutes, without the greatest feeling of discomfort anymore.
Hospitals, Institutions, Doctors, Lights, all rooms and hallways, even the freaking beds and gowns and the stupid little wristbands…
Waking up, and the first thing you see is that awful white ceiling, blinking your eyes just to make sure it’s real, because it’s not the ceiling you saw when you closed your eyes. A slight panic might creep up, how can that be?, “where am I?”
Turning your head around, just to pan over more of the white, walls, […]
I am currently in my first year of college. All of high school I would go through my ups and downs with my self-esteem. Whenever I meet another amazingly nice, funny, and pretty girl, I become obsessed with them. I want to be them and I model myself after them. I become their friend and I change the way I do my makeup and hair, or the way I dress. I get angry that I have light brown hair and hers is dark brown, or that I will never be as tall or skinny as her. Or that my face is covered in acne. Life […]
Right now, as I write this, I am in my room. Alone.
It is dark around me and only the light of my computer’s screen is giving me some artificial clarity. But I don’t complain. It is better this way. It is… Perfect for what I am about to do.
In front of me, in my desk, there are several pills and a bottle of water.
I am about to feel true control for the first time in my life and then…
Then…
It will be the last thing I will ever feel.