So..I hate my life to say the least, i’m a 14 year old girl and I know i’m too young to be feeling like this but its the truth. I really just don’t know if I can do this anymore. It feels weird the fact that I have to turn to a website but I just need to let it all out to someone who won’t tell me to ‘ get over it ‘ or that i’m just being ‘ stupid ‘. I used to be so happy, like always laughing, smiling and didn’t have a care in the world. It all started to change. […]
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Lying In My Bed
when memories hit you and they hurt like fuck. i used to be so close with my dad. i could go to talk to him about anything and we would joke and laugh all the time. i was so close to him that probably up until i was 10 he would lay in my bed with me every night before i went to sleep. on weekend mornings just the two of us would walk to get donuts. he watched shows like project runway and so you think you can dance with me just because i asked him too. i used to jump on him everytime […]
Tonight, I broke down. It has been almost a month since I began recovering from a yearlong eating disorder that destroyed my life. No therapist, no support from family, just me. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I am still going strong. Some moments are good, some are terrible. Tonight was just awful, I couldn’t get myself together. I was sobbing because I lost hope for half a second and I started thinking about everything. I just felt so alone.  I pulled myself together and knew I was going to be okay, sometimes we all fall apart. So at the same […]
It’s almost 11 AM and it’s a beautifully warm day outside. But I have been awake for hours and I’m still lying in my bed in my messy room feeling sad. Part of me really wants to go outside and enjoy the rare UK sunshine, but there’s something stopping me: i’m just really not feeling up to speaking with my family, or with anybody to be honest. And I know that this is stupid and lying in a dark bedroom feeling sad will just make it all feel worse. But I can’t do it… I can’t go out and pretend everything is okay and normal […]
Yesterday was a bad day. I woke up feeling okay, but then suddenly the sadness hit and I descended into the darkness again, thinking dangerous thoughts yet feeling dangerously numb and empty. I ended up lying in my bed for hours, too exhausted to move and too empty to cry, but too sad to sleep. Eventually, I got myself out of bed and tried to shake the sadness. I ended up in my kitchen, heating up a pizza. I couldn’t eat more than a few bites- it wasn’t exactly that I wasn’t hungry and I’m not dieting, it was just that I found the act […]
you know when you feel lower than everyone? your grades are not that high that no one lets you take a decision because they think youre too young… that everyone around you is aloud to tell you what you shouldnt do or be or even like, while you arent aloud to discuse with them….I’m here … lying in my bed thinking again about suicide… yes im sick of life like everyone! i’ve started to think about suicide since 6th grade… now im in secondary 4 … in overall i have problemes everywhere… whatever i may do people around me get dissapointed and if i do […]