Nobody knows.

So..I hate my life to say the least, i’m a 14 year old girl and I know i’m too young to be feeling like this but its the truth. I really just don’t know if I can do this anymore. It feels weird the fact that I have to turn to a website but I just need to let it all out to someone who won’t tell me to ‘ get over it ‘ or that i’m just being ‘ stupid ‘. I used to be so happy, like always laughing, smiling and didn’t have a care in the world. It all started to change. I had always liked this boy in secondary school, 2 years of it went by but I had never dreamed of telling him cause I thought he’d never feel the same. I got bullied in primary school and in 1st year. A lot of it had to do with my weight. So I stopped eating, I lost a lot of weight that way but it had the affects of me feeling tired all the time and all that crap. I didn’t really care to be honest. I still remember, me and michael had been texting for a few months now and he told me he liked me. i was so happy to say the least. To cut a long story short we went out for 5 months and he was the best thing that had ever happened me and all that really mattered to me. But then he changed. He started getting better looking and getting more attention from the girls. So he decided to dump me for one of my ‘ friends ‘. I was lying in my bed, texting him and only him, when i got the text ‘ Can we just be friends? I just think it would work better that way ‘ even though it was working fine. I know why he chose her, cause shes got an amazing boy, massive eyes and long ginger hair, when im just well.. me. That was a year ago and yet i’m even more broke than ever. I cut my arms and neck. Used razors. I don’t get along with my family, I’m doing crap in school, I get into nothing but bother, my anger has got so bad, that bad that i left a girl that used to bully me in a state and broke her nose the other day after beating her, and i have to go to the police station tomorrow cause of it. My counselor is crap, shes not helping me in anyway. I just hate myself and my life, i don’t feel good enough and i know i’m never gonna get him or all the good stuff i had back. I just feel i would be better off dead. Don’t tell me i’m being stupid, if you were me you’d understand. I’ve tried it.. I have tried to hang myself, but my sister caught me in the act, both broke down in tears. Fuck it all.