the hallucinations begin
the maggots crawling on my skin
searching for each fresh wound
wanting to bury deep inside
this dark rotting flesh
of mine
i cry
i only wish to rest
lying here is absolutely
no “good nightâ€
paranoia
filling my mind
drowning in sorrow and pain
this feeling won’t fucking go away
but i have no God
i can not pray
not for this night
nor for any other day.
Im seeing them again.. the three black circals that cloud my vision…. I wanna cut so badly.. i was using my coping skills again tonight its 2am here. My most useful coping skill at the moment is drawing. My mom (step mom)Â came over to check on me i asked to have more paper. She said no that i need to stop distracting myself and get to sleep.. i just wanted to scream.
She’s the person who doesnt get it most of all. She’s super religious. She doesnt get that im bisexual. I’m just “in a phase” . […]
I will not kill myself! i will not take your crap . you will no longer play mind games with my emotion. i dont care that your my father you can go to hell and burn. To ever bully that ever teased me… FUCK YOU. You know what you guys are? pussies! spineless maggots that fed off my need to be like everyone else. One time i would have gave in and died. but now if i ever see you again DAD i will sock you in the teeth until someone bleeds. and it wont be me. To the man that raped me as a […]