Believing in Jesus ultimately helped me. Not too long ago I was very suicidal and broke down. I prayed to God and asked him to help me. The next morning the morning news aired a story about TMS to treat depression. Soon after that I attempted to partake in a medical study that offers TMS for depression. I was screened out of the study which disappointed me and I never got the treatment that I cannot afford. Before the treatment I had to get off 2 medications I was taking to treat my depression. It made my condition worse. When I was screened out I […]
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medical
I am all empty inside. I have no friends. I don’t go to school anymore… the things I enjoyed in the past now look dead to me. I tried to end my life while I was on medical treatment for severe deppresion, and I was on a therapist treatment. For a funny coincidence, I ate bad pizza before I took 4 or 5 complete boxes of random medicine I found at home. My stomach was exploding, my heart went all crazy, and at 3:00 am when I thought I was going to die from a heart attack or something, I threw up because of the pizza. Fainted, […]
I think I’ve finally got my plans in order.I have Thanksgiving break off of college. Thursday, Thanksgiving, I have to work for Job #1. I’m supposed to work all that week for job #2. But my plan is to take family medical leave for Job #2, meaning I only have to work Thanksgiving. The rest of break I can ask of from Job #1 no problem. That means I have between Friday and Sunday to do it. Hopefully Friday because if I fail, I’ll be groggy and unable to function for a couple days. But I hope I don’t fail.
My only regret is that it’s […]
I am too fucking old to go through losing my home and going down the ghetto life’s road with welfare, being homeless and all that shit. I’ve done this too many times. In the last week I’ve lost my job of over ten years, crashed my car and lost my medical insurance. Believe it or not the loss of medical coverage is the most devastating. COBRA costs almost $1000 a month to continue my coverage – not a viable option without a job. So now I sit, waiting for my medications to run out and decisions on unemployment insurance, O’ Blotto Care and the like. […]
I did not intend to create this post but because of the interest my last post made I decided to add this one.
Many have asked not only here but during the many hospital admissions that I have had to read my living will. Being on the “Inside” of healthcare I have seen the many loopholes that both family and physicians have used to get around a persons living will and provide treatments that the patient NEVER wanted.
The two biggest examples that I know of are as follows:
1. Excluding “Treatable/Reversible” conditions. Let’s say that a persons living will states no to mechanical […]
I took Venlafaxine for years and at a high daily dosage — 300 mg. I began slow withdrawal in February and quit abruptly in April. It’s 5 months later. I’m still struggling with rages and crying jags and terrible impulsiveness and paranoia and … blah, blah, blah. Also withdrawing from klonapin. I am committed to doing this. I will not continue to take these drugs which never relieved my depression nor my anxiety. Has anyone made it out the other end, clean? How long did it take? I don’t trust the medical profession any longer and don’t believe members have the answers to these questions.
I am not depressed. Or so I’m told anyway. Great stuff. Except that doesn’t relieve the crushing weariness which makes everyday life unbearable.
Aparently I cannot be depressed as my semi conscious, morose state isnt constant. No, I have days of energetic, paranoid agitation; bizarre periods of un-lucidity in which nothing seems as real as it should and believe it or not, some days of relative normality. Unfortunately however, accordong to some of the small army of doctors ive seen, the presence of these other states exempts me from any kind of medical inerest or help. They were not […]
I have been thinking about this, and so I’ll post it.
I know we all suffer terribly, and I personally think suicide is a legitimate choice that people should be allowed to make… having said this there is something that that I do have a little problem with: PRACTICING ON YOURSELF!
I just remember working on the periphery of the medical profession for many years, and people who are all carved up or who have to have their stomachs pumped every couple of months are just not taken seriously. Medical staff, social workers, group home staff just simply wear down when clients or patients or CONSUMERS (what a friend’s […]
There is, what I believe to be a misguided therapeutic view of suicide by medical people, social workers, government types all chattering about the different aspects of this troubling and discordant reality, but they have accomplished almost nothing since the advent of modern medical and academic study, and may have even exacerbated the issue.
Scrupulously fact checked books, articles, medical, philosophical, academic discourses on suicide almost universally call for a psychiatric or therapeutic “cure” to stop suicides from occurring, and despite titles like “Reasons for Suicide” and topic headings to that affect, they really never address the real reasons for suicide and they refuse to lend any shred of credibility to the endless hours of […]
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