Tag:

Messy

by Agent Purple 5/21/2015

written by Agent Purple

Everything is messy. It’s the messed up kind of messy, the disorganized messy, and the kind to be looked down upon.

I’ve come to realize a couple things. The things I think are not truly what I feel or what I believe in or how I am. I thought that the reason I cut myself was for the rush, but all my reasons for cutting feel like excuses and they often contradict each other. Willpower- I thought it had something to do with willpower. I thought it made me feel stronger if I could withstand greater pain (I’m fully aware that that is idiotic looking at […]

5/21/2015 0 comment

Messy, isn’t it?

by addicted 7/2/2014

written by addicted

7/2/2014 4 comments

If you are dieing anyway why is suicide a bad idea

by burnside1 7/25/2013

written by burnside1

I have been married for 25 years to the love of my life.Three months ago I was diagnosed with non small cancer of the lung and mets to the brain. Inoperable. One week later i found out my wife has been having an affair for three years. when I confronted her about it she told me she did not love me and has not most of our marriage. She stayed because I was a great provider and safe choice. she told me she has had six affairs in all. I am a broken man. She will not even take me to my chemo treatments. I […]

7/25/2013 14 comments

Dump your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband before you kill yourself?

by cyanidesofmarch 6/16/2013

written by cyanidesofmarch

If you have a significant other, what is the right thing to do?

As far as relationships go, committing suicide is probably the worst thing you can do. Dumping the other person, whether in an ugly argument or just by packing up and disappearing, is a lot nicer than letting them find your messy corpse and having to deal with the cleanup, funeral, explanations and shame of it all.

I know when my time comes, I’ll end my life mercilessly without much thought. So I should probably prepare. I’ve come to the conclusion that, for me, encouraging someone to love me when I have no interest in […]

6/16/2013 6 comments

So much blood

by cyanidesofmarch 1/24/2013

written by cyanidesofmarch

Unfortunately I won’t die from this. I’ve never cut myself purposely, at least I don’t think so. But tonight as I was holding the knife it just came over me. With all my might I stabbed myself in the wrist. Can’t remember what I was thinking… or if I was thinking anything at all.

At first there was nothing. Then it came flowing out. All the little red blood cells making their escape from the miserable prison.

Soon, very soon, I won’t just be playing around. The impulses are getting stronger, more violent. I was supposed to die 2 years ago when she died. Since then I’ve […]

1/24/2013 3 comments

First time writing. Me in a too big nutshell

by tralala 12/10/2012

written by tralala

Boy am I glad to find this site.
Just to be able to write down some thoughts here and not in my despised self help diary notebook.
I was driving around town afraid to come back home. Another sleepless lonely night awaits me. I am scared because I haven’t been this alone in last 3 years.
Here’s a short background story:
6 years ago I found myself wrapped in suicidal thoughts and plans. I delayed them for various reasons. And I tried to build myself as a person. I failed, gave up, found some strength again and tried again, and failed again.. It was a […]

12/10/2012 8 comments

How do I make the pain stop??

by ItsTimeToGo 11/29/2012

written by ItsTimeToGo

Hello All,

I am in a terrible place that I don’t feel that I will ever get out of. Â I was on top of the world. Â Had a very good job, good car, just moved in with the love of my life, new pets, just bought the house of my dreams.

I lost it with one illegal mistake that I made. Â I ended up spending several months in jail, I lost my reputation, the girl that I knew would be there for me no matter what will no longer have anything to do with me. Â I have lost my job, and CANNOT find work no matter what. […]

11/29/2012 5 comments

The feeling and what I want.

by chapterpt 10/17/2012

written by chapterpt

I want to do it every now and then. But then I think of my mother finding my body in my horribly messy apartment. The fact I wont be found for days, even weeks. I can’t do that to anyone, and I fight through it. It makes me stronger each time, but I feel like I am weaker for it each time. I really hope I die a natural death and will do everything I can to get there. I just wish I never had these thoughts. I wish I was normal.

10/17/2012 1 comment

messy ramblings from a lost teenager

by NotReallyHereAtAll 6/29/2012

written by NotReallyHereAtAll

I really don’t understand myself. I just got back from my Prom, and I have to say it wasn’t as bad as I expected, but that’s because I had no expectations at all! Anyway, for some of it, I was really really happy and I danced and laughed and had a lovely time. However, for other parts, I just sat staring into nothing and feeling numb and wanting to die. This also happened whilst I was on the dancefloor, and I just stayed there awkwardly dancing and wondering how easy it would be to just do it at that exact moment, like jump from the […]

6/29/2012 0 comment

not a cry for help!!

by NotReallyHereAtAll 5/30/2012

written by NotReallyHereAtAll

I just read a definition for suicide calling it a cry for help. It really annoyed me, because in my opinion it’s the exact opposite. Suicide happens when we feel there is no help to be given whatsoever, suicide is when we can’t help ourselves and can’t be helped by anyone else. Suicide is deciding that we’ve had enough of this fucking world and don’t want any help staying in it. The only way suicide could possibly be a cry for help would be if it was a purposely messy and obvious attempt, or if the person told a shitload of people their plans, or […]

5/30/2012 4 comments

WHAT DO I HAVE. I AM AN ALIEN

by idunno 3/21/2012

written by idunno

I think I may have a Highly sensitive personality.

I have severe social anxiety, ADD. And I get easily overstimulated.
Do these sound like characteristics of the HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON?:

I have acute hearing, I get startled VERY easily over the littlest sounds, even when I am anticipating them. and I think I am sensitive to light(i wear glasses) I am a very picky eater, and dont eat much I like odd foods. I think this is because I may be a supertaster? I think I am sensitive to pain. When I have a hot beverage, it takes forever for it to be cool enough to drink, […]

3/21/2012 2 comments