I want to do it every now and then. But then I think of my mother finding my body in my horribly messy apartment. The fact I wont be found for days, even weeks. I can’t do that to anyone, and I fight through it. It makes me stronger each time, but I feel like I am weaker for it each time. I really hope I die a natural death and will do everything I can to get there. I just wish I never had these thoughts. I wish I was normal.
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I hear ya. Man I do.
I dont want to hover above and hear people say shit about it either,
i asked for help
Begged
and I got lectured
called a coward
a failure
attn seeker
yeah I want attn. I want my kids back my life back. I want love. So the fuck what
And you know the ones who will say oh we always knew she was nucking futz – surprised it didnt happen sooner
fuck all of them
WE DIDNT SEE THE SIGNS my ass
I wish I was NORMAL like you said
I wish I could impart on you that I get it and you are not alone
as a mom I would just crumble if I found my child like this. But I also listen and would take action for my son or daughter. But they wont even talk to me
I hope you make it my friend. I hope you do