If you’ve read any of my other comments or my story, you know I’m a proponent of choosing life over death, and I think the words in this video kinda sum up why, in a way:
Tag:
Mortality
I wanna be strong enough.
to fight.
I wanna be tough enough.
to survive.
but even fighters gotta give.
and even weaklings gotta live.
i want to breathe, but it’s too hard.
I want to feel, but i got no heart.
I sold it,
a long long time ago,
sold it to the devil,
along with my soul.
And God won’t help.
He hasn’t for a while.
but i still pray,
But I guess it’s not His style.
He doesn’t care for me,
he does’nt care at all,
I guess I’ve asked too much of Him,
Cause he won’t answer when I call.
So I’ll […]
I can’t stop listening to these songs.. they describe my pain my sadness my anger… The story of my end…
Mudvayne – scream with me
Ever feel like dying, Ever feel alone, Ever feel like crying, Lost child in a store, Ever feel life pushing, Shoving you away, Ever feel like breaking down, Funeral in the rain
Feel life slipping away, Stand in the corner and scream with me, A body full of empty, A head thats full of rage, Better belive it, Stand in the closet and scream with me A mind thats like a fire, Driven by the pain, Better believe it
Ever feel like lying, Down […]
“We Only Arrive At Ourselves In A Freely Chosen Death” Jean Améry
by Bodhisattva
written by Bodhisattva
“I have tried to view it from the interior of those who call themselves suicidal or suicidesâ€.
( Words from Jean Améry )
I just wanted to recommend this book which i know will be of interest to many of you,
I have found it quite difficult & frustrating to find serious, intelligent & quality critiques or books on other point’s of view about Suicide & this subject overall, as all i keep becoming drowned in is only the fucking Utilitarianism & Christian Inspired Philosophy which is very annoying & frustrating,
Anyway i hope some of you will check it […]
I don’t know.
I find myself every day saying this. I repeat this word alot. I’ve been living with the spectre of suicide since I was 8, I’ve hated life since then.  I saw my grandfather lying in the casket, and everyone was crying, I didn’t understand until I went over and told grandpa to wake up… he didn’t wake up.
Grandpa was just sitting there, not moving. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t getting up. I kept hoping he would get up, thinking that he was just asleep, but he was too still. In my little mind, I knew he was too still. I learned about […]
The birds must think we’re all a bunch of idiots. We have this wonderful little planet all to ourselves, and we’ve divided it into little sections. We build walls and fences, and we draw lines in the sand. We build little cages around ourselves. We use all of our energy trying to keep Them out, and trying to keep Us in. It’s a waste of time. We waste much of our time trying to make temporal things eternal. We try to fight our own mortality by constructing things that we hope will last forever. But after we die, our creations turn to dust. Birds know […]
I was 13 when I realized that I would inevitably die.
I saw my body changing, and unlike most young teens who would
Enter a phase in which they cannot control their raging hormones and impulses, I merely noted the changes as the first leap toward my inevitable demise.
You see,
The change itself is what inspired this cognition.
I watched myself mature and it disgusted me.
My thoughts became more intelligent and clear, but apprehension and the reluctant realization of my mortality were the first discernible responses to the Change.
Life, at that moment, lost its magic.
I began writing. I played the guitar, in my room, […]
To A Breathless Oblivion by The Black Dahlia Murder
the chair’s been kicked a rope tied to the rafters
blue faced and broken necked I sigh
relieving my vision from the sick mocking stare
of that hated sun burning the sky
slumped like a headless scarecrow
cold and limp against the wall
blood paints a pattern of rorschach’s design
thawing the winter that burdens this heart
shit stained and shameful
an exit in disgrace
not a splash but just a ripple left
I end this life in vain
in vain
in the dead of the darkness I breach the still lake
toward the reflection of […]