i want to lay down, wrap myself in my blankets and sleep forever… but i fear what waits for me on the other side of my slumber. the things i experience when i dream. they continue to plague me, night after night. my mother is making me take a magnesium supplement to help with my sleep (note: I am a VERY small person, this will be important in a second). all it’s done so far has been give me a stomach upset. i highly doubt a sour magnesium drink that Maya Rudolph does commercials for is going to cure my c-ptsd induced parasomnia. i’m at […]
Tag:
Nausea
You know what’s really fantastic is lying awake at 2:30 in the morning, trying to figure out why I feel like a piece of shit. I mean, I feel like shit, obviously, with the dizziness and the nausea that comes from not sleeping for a couple of days. But why do I feel like a piece of shit? I fed my cats. I went to work, didn’t screw up or underperform. I didn’t get into any arguments, I didn’t say or do anything rude or unethical. So why, god, do I still have this leaden guilty-and-wanting-to-die feeling without any outside circumstances to justify it?
Well, I’ve been off my med (200mg Zoloft) for three weeks. Cold turkey. I was on it for both depression and anxiety.
The only difference I notice is that the physical symptoms of my anxiety have returned. That trembling sensation in my hands, nausea, sweating, flushing, etc. Anxiety levels and depression levels are the same.
Withdrawal effects were pretty tame. Nausea, head aches, dizziness, emotional lability (i.e. uncontrollable crying/laughter at odd times)
Hmm probably should go back. The physical symptoms of anxiety are a ***** and they are mostly visible to other people which is not good and in turn makes me more anxious.
I was watching T.V and a commercial for anti-depressants came on…..It said how it could help you…blah, blah, blah but then something made me think; the blatant irony ….” side affects may include nausea, vomiting or the increase of suicidal thoughts in children, young adults and adults”….Sooo this medicine has a risk to make people more suicidal than they are now….. but its supposed to work against depression? Its not guaranteed to work but it has a risk to fuck you up in the head even more? On what planet does this make sense? Hell, they might as well give you a gun with a […]
Every time I see a kid walking down the road with his mother or father or a grandparent, I get this weird pang in my stomach. I feel sad, like dead puppies in the ditch sad. I can just tell myself that its just some depression thing and move on but it just keeps coming back. Every time I pass a poor family sitting outside around a fire waiting for dinner, waiting for the night to end, every time I see a housewife standing on the porch looking and waiting for ways to kill time, every time I think of a paper pusher in an […]
I have been dealing with depression for 8 painful years, and have had a self mutilation additction for seven of those eight. I have my ups and downs, but lately I feel like my depression has taken a turn for the worst. I have always felt it mentally and emotionally, but the physical symptoms of depression were always minor. That is… until recently. I couldn’t tell you what triggered my depression this time around. I haven’t the slightest clue. Maybe I’m lonely. Maybe I’m scared. Maybe I feel lost because my youth is very quickly leaving me.
I can’t eat. Every time I even look at food I’m […]
I guess I’m going to be a regular to this site now. Hello, whoever’s reading this. You’re pain has become my drug. Your pain is softer than my own. I found this site about a week ago, and I just keep coming back. During school at break, at work when I have a minute… and now, when I have to wake up early and go to school tomorrow. I lay in my bed, poised to hide my laptop should my parents walk down the hall. I am here once more. Reading, and commenting, and now posting.
You’re pain is distracting to me. I hope to do […]
So there I was, a couple days back – sitting alone thinking oncemore about how shitty my life is (I’m in my 20’s, have a university degree, but no one will give me a job, im lacking in major social skills and have never had a GF – still a virgin and havent had any friends for years). 90% of my time outside of my house has been to the Doctor or my Therapist.
To digress, I’m sitting here and decide to “take some pills” (i wont detail everything). I take a few (slightly more than Ive done before just when Ive felt bad), then I […]
I’m 41 yo female, I don’t have any kids. My family don’t talk to me. I have been formally diagnosed with aspergers. I have a low grade glioma in my brain stem (superior colliculus). I have a chiari 1 malformation. Both the tumour and chiari cause migraines, nausea and anxiety. I’m depressed, and everyone I speak to says that is understandable given my situation. I havent any friends – thanks to a combination of my aspergers and terminal illness. People walk away as if it’s catching or something. I’ve tried phoning helplines but all they […]
When i was in rehab i was forced into group therapy, I was only a week into rehab so i was still feeling the effects of withdrawal, So lets just say i was not in the best of moods.
(Day 1)
When it came round to my turn, i said the words, my name is Shane and im a addict. (It didnt really feel like a big step, but it was, i see that now)
She asked me why i started doing drugs.
i said ” why does anyone do drugs, they want to escape the shityness of there live’s”(I was less cordial then)
She said “Yes, but what was it […]
I used to have a problem with crack/heroin and more than once i was hospitalized because of it. Although at the time it was not an intentional overdose. I still remember before and after it but not during, u just slip away silently. No mess just easy to deal with for those who find me. You don’t feel pain or nausea you just go to sleep and hope that no-one finds you to stop the process. For me its just a matter of when and where.
Depression is kicking my ass right now.
I feel fat and ugly (I’ve never felt really bad about my appearance before. It’s like when I look in the mirror, I see the fat 12-year-old I once was. Now I feel that way even more, even though I understand fashion and makeup and hair even more than I did in high school.)
And I feel worthless no matter what. My parents treated me like shit for 19 years, all they ever taught me is that all I’m good for is sex, chores, and looking pretty, and that nothing I ever do is good enough. Well, thanks […]
… and the end game is near. It’s like walking into a cave and it keeps getting darker and narrower. I started coming to this conclusion close to a year ago. Like so many others, I had a decent and comfortable life that was turned upside down by the global economic meltdown. I’ve met adversity before and it does not scare me – I’m kind of a “roll with the punches” kind of guy.
A little background for you all – I’ve been married and divorced 3 times – 2 kids – a girl and a boy, each with a different mother. The girl is an […]