I have been holding on for too long and I am slipping. I have no one up top to reach down and grab me, pull me up; and I have no one to catch me when I fall. I was once on the edge now I am dangling and ready to fall. I thought I could handle the weight of the world, fight on towards my future until the day I die. But I can’t. The world is depressing even-though there is so much fun around. I am so heart-broken even though I have friends, family, and a boyfriend who love me dearly. You may […]
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Nightshade
So after much (or not) thought, I’ve decided to just go through with it. I’m going to eat my 50 monkshood seeds and see where I go. It seems this is the only viable option now. It’s either that or the 350 nightshade seeds, but Erowid turned me off from the nightshade since it seems to trip you up instead of actually killing you. I’m shaking with fear at the thought of the pain to be honest. All accounts I’ve read from poison plants have been extremely painful, so I’m worried that I might end up screaming, which might alert my neighbours, so I’ma do […]