Okay, so, I’ve been diagnosed with depression for just over four years now, and frankly I’m getting a bit tired of it all. My friends simply do not have the capacity to understand. I, an eighteen year old girl, cannot stand my own reflection. I have created this smiling persona, which serves its purpose of falsely leading the people around me to believe that I am ‘okay’, who is able to get all A’s at A Levels, but actually, I couldn’t give a shit. But maybe that’s the fluoxetine speaking? A few grades can’t make me want to live any more than the monotonous personalities […]
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Noose
for about 5 years now i have had a struggle with depression, and only in the past 2 years or so have people found out about it. i’ve attempted to kill myself several times but never found the strangth to do it.
when people first found out about my depression they where absolutely shocked. It didn’t make sense to them, i was always the one helping other people with their problems. Hell i wanted to be a social worker or child psychologist for the sole reason of helping people with those problems. But now…. now everything just looks bleak.
today after a fairly minor argument […]
Hello everyone. I’m female, 17 y.o. – actually i’m turning 18 in 2 days. This is my first post. I’ve read the posts in this site before, but it wasn’t until now i decided to write something. It’s not the first time i’ve been thinking about suicide, as you can tell. Since the age of 11 i’ve been depressed most of the time, and i think i’ve forgotten what “joy” even means. I’ve never gone too far in my attempts, i’ve stood on the edge countless times, i’ve tied so many nooses and climbed high building, and i’ve actually prayed, i’ve prayed day and night […]
I’ve never posted here, but I’ve been a lurker for the past 3 or 4 months. I’m currently 18 and two months ago I was put into an intensive outpatient program for depression/anxiety. I was prescribed Wellbutrin and was discharged after 6 weeks. The week after I got discharged I began to have grim thoughts, thoughts that are so grim that I actually made a noose and hung it in my house and made a suicide notes. For 3 nights, I would go and put the noose on and decide whether I would jump off the table and kill myself or not. Obviously I chose […]
i have had three attempts.
!. od on vicodin, got sick, pain for over a week following, think i did permanent liver damage
2. od on ativan/ambien, friend called 911, transport to hospital, don’t remember much, forced to drink charcoal, hospitalized in mental ward
3. strangulation, friend found me, cut tube off my neck, damaged throat & had difficulty swallowing
if i try again i am going to drink a lot of alcohol, take a bottle of of ativan & hang myself from a bridge near my house. i have the rope and i have been practicing tying noose knots. i’m pretty good at it now.
I dont need someone to feel sorry for me, i just need someone to listen. From what i remember, its as if ive felt depressed every single day since i was a young teenaged boy. Its become my consistent personality that i dont know what its like to be confident, self driven or what it feels like to make someone else happy anymore. i used to just deal with my depression just like it was a part of me, but it was only last year that i started experiencing depression that made me anxious and taht i couldnt control. My mental state was very severe, and i had a strong compulsion to dash […]
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